letting it go in 2012

January 1, 2012

2012.

I’m going to hop on the bandwagon right now and talk about how quickly 2011 went by. 2011 was quite a year for me. I learned a lot — about myself, about others, about life in general. 2011 will be the year I will remember that I came into my own, embraced myself as a person, and let go of a lot of insecurities I had been hanging on to from years past. 2011 was also a year that was really calming to me. While so many amazing things happened throughout the year (my niece being born and traveling to both the Dominican and NYC to name a few), it was also a year where I settled into my second year at the same school and found a routine with my life and my marriage that I didn’t have in 2010.                  

Last year I made some goals for myself to accomplish during 2011 that I didn’t necessarily post about on CEC. I wanted to participate in another CSA (accomplished!) and run another half marathon (I ran a 10 miler and am running another half in six days!) — but that’s about as far as “resolutions” or goals are concerned. Over the years, I have tried to get into resolutions, but try as I might, I just can’t do it. I forget about resolutions after January 15, making them unattainable and disheartening when I look back and figure out I failed.

There are definitely resolutions I should make. For instance, let’s talk about toilet paper for a minute. The Husband would probably love it if I made a resolution to make a conscious effort to replace the toilet paper roll when I use the last sheet. Instead of making it a resolution, I’m just going to do it. I think that should count as an anniversary and birthday present all in one.

Instead of making a bunch of resolutions this year, I decided to focus on one word. One of my favorite radio stations talks about this at the beginning of every year, and Tina brought up her word from last year the other day which got me thinking.

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I’m a very controlling person — not in necessarily a bad way, but I like to control situations. I am a planner at heart and have a time line and chart in my head at all times with every situation. It gets to be stressful, time consuming, and exhausting – and I’m just done. Instead of running myself into the ground doing this, in 2012, I want to learn to let go.

Many times when I fixate on something, I’ll go to the extreme. There have been many times where the Husband will look at me and say, “Chelsey, just let it go.” and it is incredibly hard for me to do so. This year, I’m planning on doing just that.

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I want to let go of any preconceived plans I have for myself and for my family and allow for time and plans to take their course.

I want to let go of how I feel my body should be acting and performing and do something instead of whining about it.

I want to let go of any doubts and fears I have and just live my life to the fullest.

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Instead of worrying about what could be, what should be, or what could have been, I want to take control by not taking control. I want to loosen up, laugh more, and trust that God has plans bigger and more amazing than I could ever think of for myself.

With every year comes new challenges, new lessons, and new experiences, all of which I am openly and excited to accept as 2012 evolves. Here’s to another year — bring it on 2012.

Question: If you had to choose one word or phrase to define the new year, what would you choose?

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