victory run

I’ve hated running for the last four months of my life.

A statement so bold must need some explaining — so let me try.

After my half marathon in September, I had just finished two half marathons within three months of each other after never racing before in my life. I was tired and well, I needed a break. So I gave myself one.

However, when I began to run again, I found I couldn’t. Not in a “I just don’t want to — I’m in an exercise rut” kind of way. I literally couldn’t. I set out to run 3 miles and would walk half of the distance because I was so physically tired. My legs wouldn’t “go” like they used to. I would end up frustrated and crying near the end of every single run. I didn’t get it — I was fueling myself properly, I was getting enough sleep — something wasn’t right.

 
Along with other medical issues which were going on at the time, I finally went to the doctor. After getting multiple blood tests done, my doctor called me back a few days later to tell me my blood work was abnormal, and I needed to see a specialist — an endocrinologist to be exact. I was scared — terrified really. I remember calling my mom hysterically crying because they didn’t tell me what was wrong exactly. Not to mention it was on a day where they weren’t open to take appointments.

After going and seeing my endocrinologist (remember all those appointments back in October when everyone thought I was pregnant? ) I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism — a thyroid disease which causes your thyroid gland to be underactive.  It finally all made sense. My tiredness, weakness, intolerance to the cold, depressed feelings, and irritability didn’t make me crazy — there was actually a cause behind all those problems.

The only bad thing was my wanting a quick fix — which doesn’t happen with thyroid diseases — levels of medications had to be monitored, frequent blood tests need to be taken, and it can take months for your hormone levels to even back out.

At first I was angry — how could my body be failing me when I had worked so hard to treat it right? That is probably why I did not post or talk about it until this point. I was angry — I would have been bitter — and I probably would have regretted what I wrote later.

It took a few weeks for me to actually accept the fact I would have to take medication and be okay with it. However, after processing everything, I decided to let my body heal. That meant building back my adrenals — taking a major decrease in exercising, sleeping more, listening to my body when it said “enough”. That was hard.

Tina @ Faith, Fitness, Fun just did a great post about loving your body in this exact moment — not what it was like two months ago, not what you hope it will be like in 2 years — but to love it right now. Her wisdom inspires me every day, and I love knowing I have developed such a great relationship with her over the past few months. I really had to develop that mentality when I was going through these changes. I’d be lying if I told you it was a walk in the park. It still isn’t a walk in the park

However, my taking care and listening to my body is finally paying off. I’m feeling energized, my spirits are lifted, and I fell back in love with running today.

5.75 miles in 50 minutes = the longest run I’ve done since my half marathon in September 2010.

I must have looked like a crazy fool grinning ear to ear on the treadmill for those 50 minutes, but it felt so good. I felt strong, full of energy, and ready to take on the world. Obviously those runs won’t happen every day, and I’m okay with that. I’m okay with only having the time and energy to run 3 miles 3-4 times a week because that’s what my body can handle right now. But when my body can handle almost 6 miles after four months of rehabilitating, I’d call that a victory.

There’s only one way to celebrate a victory run.

Friday night pizza (x2) — I’d say that was worth running for.

Question: Have you ever had an issue you wanted a “quick fix” to?

Tagged as: accepting yourself, gluten free pizza, hypothyroidism, running