dear mom

Ever since I was younger, people always told me I was a clone of you. While we shook our heads and laughed whenever anyone used to still tells us that, I know that it’s true. From the way we look, the way we think, the way we eat — we are one in the same. More surprisingly than not, as a child, teenager, and now as an adult — I’ve never minded it.

 
I can only imagine how much you have sacrificed over the years as my mom. Let’s face it — having two daughters (and one son — but he’s easy) isn’t necessarily cheap, but I’ve never once heard you complain. My obsessions ranged from wanting American Girl doll(s), only wearing clothes from Limited Too, a prom dress that I just had to have, and let’s not mention that college education. You’re always willing to give more than you probably should — whether it was a new toy when I was younger, a famous “can I have a bite?”,  or a trip to Costco now.

I will never forget the common phrases that came out of your mouth when I was younger. To name a few, “because I said so”, “would you like some cheese with that whine?”, and “because I’m your mother” probably rank at the top of my choices. In fact, I find myself using some of your phrases now (not with my secret children I hide in my closet, but with my students), and I can’t help but laugh. While your strict facade ran across your face, we all knew you were the softie of the family. Whenever I needed (okay, still need) anything, you’re the one to go to without a doubt. I’m not saying I don’t need Dad, but I know you’re easier to persuade. Like mother, like daughter.

I was racking my brain over the last few days, and I have come to conclude we never really went through a rough patch like most mothers and daughters. I never needed to push you away — I always wanted you near (even if my words didn’t mimic my thoughts). Although I rolled my eyes whenever my friends told me my mom was “so cool” and how I was “so lucky”, I knew they were true. I knew I had it good. Except for that one time when you danced in the car at a stop light — I could have disowned you for approximately five minutes while I wanted to die from shame.

 
Don’t get me wrong — you weren’t easy on us. You expected a lot, and I appreciate that. Actually, I’ve always appreciated that. Thank you for not being my friend while I was growing up. Now that I am older, I can see how much easier being our “friend” would have been. I am so glad you took the high road and parented us, loved us, disciplined us, and gave us consequences for our (many) bad choices in life. There is a difference in parenting a child and parenting an adult — I’m glad that parenting an adult includes being her best friend because I don’t know what I would do without you.

You have always stood by my side throughout my life. No matter what the situation, you have been the first one to dry my tears, and the first to calm my (many) anxieties about ridiculous “what if’s”. However, you’ve also always been the one to tell me that life isn’t fair and I need to buck up and get over myself.  There have been so many times in my life when my stubborn self has been firm in my stance, and I know you knew what I was doing was not the right thing. Instead of trying to persuade me otherwise, you let me live and learn the hard way. Throughout it all, you were on my side even when I was in the wrong.

God willing, I hope to have a daughter someday, and to be perfectly honest, I hope she’s just like us. Okay, that was a little conceited, but for good reason. I can only imagine how incredibly blessed I would be if I could have a daughter who loves me just as much as I love you. I actually laughed while typing that because let’s face it — you got a Debbie, I’ll get a Kirstin. The world is against us somehow.

Happy Birthday Momma — and remember:

“I love you forever, I’ll like you for always. As long as I’m living, my mommy you’ll be.”

Tagged as: birthday card to mom, letter to mom