waiting game

If you think about it, most of our lives are spent waiting.

We wait for the obvious: for red lights, for elevators, or for the clock to chime 3:00 (or 4:00, or 5:00 — please apply accordingly).

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I realized yesterday while waiting in front of my oven that I am horrible at waiting. Nine times out of ten, I distract myself with other menial tasks when waiting for my food to be done. I wash dishes, I tidy up the house, or I obsessively check my e-mail. I do all this in such a distracted manner that I don’t even realize what I am accomplishing.

Have you ever driven to or from somewhere only upon arriving at your destination wondering how in the world you ended up there? You zoned out while driving — yeah, it’s kind of like that.

Back to the food though — once the food is finally ready, I pull on an oven mitt, open the door to the oven after shooing Charlie away, and I pull out the pan which holds the piping hot treat I had been salivating over for the last 20-30 minutes. Most times I am welcomed by a glorious, mouth watering dish that I cannot even wait to let cool before inevitably burning 75% of my taste buds on. All this waiting was worth that single moment where I am able to sink my teeth into whatever I was making

Of course, my ability to impatiently wait is relatable to all aspects of my life. Do you remember me saying I complete the other tasks while waiting in a distracted manner?

Many times in life — we are waiting. For a phone call. For a chance to “redo” something. For the perfect person to come along and whisk us away in a completely fairy tale manner.

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We spend so much time waiting… and waiting… and waiting that we begin to stop living and instead we teach ourselves to “make it through one more day” while faking life one day at a time. It happens slowly, silently, and before you know it, it is a significant amount of time later. What do you have to show for this time? Anxiety? Stress? An ulcer?

I have been playing the waiting game the majority of my life. I have a difficult time sitting back and living in the moment, which is something I am continually working to improve upon myself. I am always planning, always looking forward to the next big milestone. When I was sixteen, I was waiting to drive.

Then I was waiting to turn 18…

To go to college…

To move into an apartment…

To turn 21…

To graduate college….

To get a job…

To get engaged…

To get married…

Obviously this cycle never ends — once I am in the next part of my life, I forget to enjoy it and just be happy where I am at.

Finally, though, I feel like I am at a place in my life where I am at peace. I have finally gotten to the point I have waited for for so long. I was there. I had finally made it.

Then life got in the way.

I fell back into the waiting game. Last month I got news that I had gotten RIF’ed. The world is full of annoying acronyms, wouldn’t you agree?

RIF stands for “Reduction In Force” and it is an unfortunate situation that happens to far too many good teachers these days because of budget cuts. While I could go on about budget cuts for hours, I am going to refrain because you will probably stop being my friends.

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I knew I was going to get RIF’ed. I saw it coming from miles away. My school district is going through inevitable changes due to the money that is not coming in from the state of Illinois. So when my principal shared the news with me mid-March, I had already accepted my next attempt at the waiting game.

However, I knew I wanted to approach the game with a different strategy this time around. I didn’t want to suddenly wake up to realize a month had passed and the only thing I had to show for it being the biggest stress pimple of my life. So, if you are wondering why you hadn’t heard about my unfortunate job situation until now, that’s why.

I refused to spend my time throwing out “what if’s” on a situation I had absolutely no control over. I chose to accept, move on, and when the answer to whether or not I would be rehired for the fall came, I would be okay with whatever was to happen. because as I said, nothing I could do or say would change the outcome.

So I lived.

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For the last month and a half, I kept going only to think when others asked about the fact that I was not secure in my job. It was easy for me. While some situations are definitely not appropriate to “ignore”, ones that you can’t change definitely fall into that “ignore” category. There’s no sense in the world to spend hours stressing. It’s counterproductive.

I finally got word yesterday that I was getting rehired in the same school and position I currently hold. I feel so grateful because I know so many people in my district, in this state, and in this country, are not as fortunate right now. I have the upmost amount of empathy towards these teachers as I know exactly what it feels like to be in limbo. While I am celebrating and may have done a happy dance last night, getting my job back wasn’t the life lesson I learned in this situation.

I could have very well not have gotten my job back and still learned the same exact thing.

The thing is, life doesn’t always turn out the way you expect it to. And more often than not, the outcomes of our situations are not what we expect. And that’s okay. It’s okay for life to not go our away. It’s okay to be mad. It’s even okay to accept.

What really matters is what you make of your life while you’re waiting.

So — what are you waiting for?

Tagged as: inspiration, patience, RIF, teaching, waiting game