Remember that whole patience thing I’ve been trying out for the month of August? I figured since it was halfway through the month, I’d let you know how it was going. In fact, I am happy to report I have figured out a way to make it work.
First, remove everyone but me from my surrounding.
Second, let me exist independently.
That’s not going to work? Crap.
Really, when I think about it — my whole “patience thing” has not been going very well. Just ask the Husband. Or my mom. Or the guy who was driving in front of me going 25 in a 35 the other day. Actually, I probably could have asked him since I was basically in his backseat.
The thing about my patience is that I have none. In fact, I tend to overreact, and then when the Husband tells me I’m overreacting, I look at him like he has three heads because a) duh, I know I’m overreacting and b) get over it.
But at least I don’t have disco ball numbers on my new mailbox — there’s a method to this madness people, and no, I am not telling that story today.
Which brings me to my next point, which has nothing to do with mailboxes or cars or even human beings in general. Well, unless we’re counting Big Bertha as a living creature, but try as I may, she is still an inanimate object. So I pulled Big Bertha out the other day to whip me up some homemade nut butter — because there’s nothing like making nut butter and dirtying up my already horrifying mess of a kitchen when I am supposed to be cleaning my entire house so the Husband doesn’t disown me for being a crazy lady.
I’m going to tell you straight up — Big Bertha and I got into a huge fight. It wasn’t even her fault really. I was just impatient. I may have yelled at her a few times, but I’ve never made nut butter in a huge processor before, so I didn’t know it took patience and a good long while to get it to be smooth like buttah.
Sorry Big Bertha — it was worth the wait.
Coconut Sunflower Seed Butter
- 1.5 cups raw sunflower seeds
- 1.5-2.0 tbsp. coconut oil
- 1 tsp agave nectar
- shredded coconut (optional, for mix-in)
Directions: Begin by toasting your raw sunflower seeds in a large skillet heated over medium heat for ~10 minutes, stirring frequently to avoid burning. Once the majority of your seeds have turned a golden color, turn off the heat and spread the sunflower seeds on a large plate to cool. Once the seeds have completely cooled, place the seeds, oil, and agave nectar in your food processor and give it a whirl. Let it run, scraping the sides as needed until a smooth nut butter has formed. Mine took anywhere from 15-20 minutes to get the consistency I wanted! Fold in shredded coconut to your liking.
I had no idea nut butters took 15-20 minutes to process, did you? Thankfully Big Bertha is a saint and allowed me to verbally abuse her when I thought she was going to fail me.
It’s a good thing I was alone.
In the words of the Husband, “Woosah”.
I stinking hate when he does that.
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