“Above all else, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.” – Unknown
On my way home today, I felt my eyes starting to get heavy, thinking of all of the things I had to do when I got home from work today. Sort the laundry, do the dishes, make dinner, make lunches, play with Charlie – just the thought of it all made me want to lay down in my bed and go to sleep at 5 PM. All of those things are what I “should” have been doing when I got home today – in reality, all of those things I could have done without.
It is absolutely amazing to me how exhausted I truly am after only one “real” day back at work – and once again, I don’t know how people work twelve months out of the year, without having the summers off.
The second thing I thought about was how much I did. not. want. to. blog. when I got home, even though I felt like I “should”. The thought of thinking of something witty and extraordinary for everyone to read was mind boggling to me as I couldn’t even put together a proper thought as to what I would make for dinner (fact: I heated up leftover spaghetti).
When I was younger, I participated in throwing events in track from 6th-9th grade. In fact, the only reason why I stopped competing in discus and shot put was because I fell during a meet and broke my hand/thumb which resulted in surgery.
The reason why I participated in track for so long is because I knew it made my dad happy. I hated throwing with an undoubted passion. I was good at it, yes, but that doesn’t meant I wanted anything to do with it. To think, I only had to break a bone to get out of it – well if that was the case, I would have done it earlier (kidding!). I was so afraid my dad would be disappointed because I wasn’t into the sport he liked to coach so much.
The thing about life is that when you’re not “into” what you are doing, people notice. People notice passion, but they also notice when you’re not passionate. For example, whenever the Husband talks about anything “car” or “motor” related, I try really hard to follow along and look interested, but usually my eyes roll to the back of my head pretty quickly.
I could have posted a recipe tonight, tried to win you over with my wit, but you could have definitely seen right through it. You would have been able to see through my writing – sorry blog, I’m just not into you tonight.
I believe in the whole “quality over quantity” notion when it comes to my writing. I refuse to force a post just because you are sitting at your computer at 7 PM every night waiting for my next post. And don’t lie, I know you’ve been waiting. I would rather only have written a handful of quality posts than hundreds of mediocre ones just because I think it’s something I “should” be doing. After all, my mother did teach me not to jump off a bridge just because others are doing it.
So excuse me for the night while I go catch up with my 500+ Google Reader posts, eat granola, and call it a night at 8 pm. It is a big day tomorrow after all!
Question: Have you ever done something because you (or others!) thought you “should” do it?
{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }
Great post for not wanting to do it!! I’ve definitely done things to make others happy…like being social at events with my honey’s friends or co-workers! I’d rather be at home reading
Oof — the peer pressure question.
In high school it was always to have a boyfriend, drink, all that stuff — and I succumbed to the boyfriend one and had a relationship with a guy that was totally into me, but not exactly vise versa. I felt bad but I just wanted the attention. Not going to lie. I have not done that ever again thank god. But I agree a million percent. Never do something because someone else says to!
YES! I have done lots of things because I thought I “should”. My problem is that I sometimes do things that other people expect me to do even though I don’t want to… then I get all disgruntled at them for “making” me do something! I used to feel that way about blogging. I “should” post everything I eat because so-and-so does it. I “should” write a new post every day because that’s what the successful bloggers do! Yea, yea, yea. I’m finally starting to figure out that blogging is a personal thing. It’s my blog and I can write what I want, when I want. And I don’t have to post anything I eat just because I like to write about health & fitness sometimes. I think the trick is to not feel guilty when you don’t do something you/others think you “should”.
I love the picture of you throwing the shot put!! You seem so little to be a thrower.
Getting back into ‘teaching shape’ is SO TOUGH! I always feel like I need a nap every day the first week back! ….. I thank you for posts like this, I am already getting better and saying ‘nope, not tonight. I’m blogging for me. Tonight I feel like I need to do something else for me.’ ….Honestly like this is priceless and inspires me (and others too) to become more true to ourselves everyday!
Have a great day tomorrow!
Love this post! I have done a lot of things because people thought I should do it. I never used to be one to like to disappoint others. As I continue to get older, I realize more and more that I just need to do me.
I’m totally gonna back you up on this girl!
Let’s call it a universal Wordless Wednesday, and we can all chow down on granola together
Great and honest post! And to answer your question, yes there have been few moments in my life where I did something because I felt like it was what people wanted. I can be a bit of people pleaser in that aspect but in the end, I was never happy. It took several years for me to realize that about myself and now I’m much happier.
Awesome post! I used to run/workout when I felt like I “should” instead of when I truly WANTED to or was awake enough to do it. Now I’ve found things I love, and never feel like I “should” go exercise. Getting rid of disordered habits one at a time!
I completely agree with the whole quality over quantity thing! Some nights I just don’t feel like I have anything worth blogging about….so I just Don’t! And it feels good to not be pressured and also not to post something that my heart wasn’t really in!
“Have you ever done something because you (or others!) thought you “should” do it?”-
Yes!! TONS!
From going to the college I went to, the major I chose, the workouts I did, the food I ate…I gave that all up..and now TRY to live to only please myself. But I am a pleaser in many ways and it’s hard to not be impacted by what others want me to do or do things in order to please them.
Great post!
Story of my life.. The reason I quit blogging for 9 months the first time around was because I lost my passion for it as a result of starting to write because I felt like I had to. I definitely agree that passion is easy to see, and when I start feeling like I’m falling into that “should” trap, I take a step back and give myself a day off.
I definitely feel like that sometimes with blogging, especially since I’m a newbie. I feel like I need to try and post 3x a day and that just doesn’t work with my schedule! Since I work 8-5, am planning a wedding, have a pretty active dog and lifestyle I just can’t post as much as I feel like I “should.” I think I need to take a chill pill (like my mom used to say…haha) and find what schedule fits for me and stick to it! Thanks for the post!
love this post! as all of your others! I don’t think I’ve ever read anything “mediocre” on your blog.
I definitely do things because I feel like I “should”. For awhile I would read The Economist and Time cover to cover because I felt like I “should” be an informed and well-rounded citizen. I was reading things because I thought they were necessary, not cuz I wanted to! now I just pick out the articles that actually interest me haha.
well that just revealed what a big nerd I am, okay. lol.
Well, even though you said you weren’t into it, this post sounds great! Thank you for being real and totally honest. I love it! I feel like a lot of my time in high school was spent doing things that my friends thought I should be doing. I wasn’t completely comfortable in my own skin yet and therefore I kind of followed them, even if I didn’t really want to.
Love the honesty of this post! I’m with you on the ‘quality over quantity’ blogging! Some days I feel like I need to put something up but then I remind myself that blogging is not an obligation… I do it because I WANT to and if I’m not feelin’ it, so be it! And plus I rather not risk losing my ‘street cred’ by spittin’ out a less-than-par post!
For someone who did’t want to post - you sure came up with a winner (and a bunch of funny cartoons too!) Loving your honesty and blog more everyday… xoxo from Trinidad
Yes times a million to this post!!! I spent 3 years in a biomedical science degree that I hated just because it’s what I *thought* I should do. I had high grades, I was good at science, and all my high school teachers expected me to go on and become a doctor. I hated those 3 years though, so when I finally did what I wanted and switched to nutrition, I became sooo much happier!
I hope you enjoyed your relaxing night!
I love that you not wanting to blog turned into an awesome blog post
good luck getting back into the swing of things at work!
Quality over quantity for sure!!…goes for blogging, chocolate and sex
Great post!!
I totally agree with this post. When I started blogging recently, that was one of my biggest concerns. When I get readers, they will expect consistent posting. But we are human and sometimes life or just our mood does not generate a enjoyable post… all it would say is “Be Back Soon.” I definitely enjoy your quality and do not want for quantity.
amen, sista!
I really do feel like so many blog owners feel the need to post every day, whether they feel like it or not. I have always agreed with the quality over quantity mantra, and if I’m just not feelin’ it, I don’t put anything up.
do things because you like them and you WANT to do them.
“The thing about life is that when you’re not “into” what you are doing, people notice. People notice passion, but they also notice when you’re not passionate.”
You’re a wise lady
I couldn’t have said it better myself!
I’m the same way when it comes to blogging. I believe in quality over quantity ANY day. I want to be proud in every post I publish, and there have been days I’ve just thrown blog posts together and like you said, you can tell. Even though you didn’t feel like blogging, I’m glad you did. Loved this post, it reminds people that blogging is enjoyment
You should enjoy what you write!
Ugh this post came at such a great time. Some times I feel like I have so much to blog about and so many pictures to use up and other times I feel like I have nothing to say and like 5 pictures from an entire week. And in case you’re wondering, today happens to be one of those “other times.” I was debating writing a post while on my run this morning, but you’re right, if my heart isn’t into it, people will notice. So unless I’m struck with some inspiration in the next hour, don’t expect to hear from me till tomorrow!
When I was a freshman I felt like I had to do marching band because my brother had been the big success with his trombone and he was brass captain and all that jazz. I totally dreaded summer band, but then I loved it!! I’ve kept with it and I now love it.
I hear ya. Before we know it, we are “shoulding” all over ourselves. One for me is definitely sleep or what to eat after a workout. “I should get up early to sieze the day - but I really want to sleep in.” “I should eat protein after a workout, but what if I don’t necessarily want something consisdered ‘protein’.” Sometimes we just have to go with our invisible guts lol
I totally respect this post - thank you! It’s easy to tell when people do things just because others want them to, or with the intention of impressing. I just recently started posting things I really wanted to, and speaking in my own voice instead of this made-up girl I thought people would want to hear from. Three cheers for honesty.
And I always like spaghetti better the day after.
I completely know how you feel with the “should’s,” especially when it comes to the blog world. I should comment, I should read more, I should update my blog roll. The list goes on. Sometimes I sit down at my computer and I have NO idea what to write about. I definitely would say post when you want to, the blog’s for you, after all!
I feel like we are always on the exact same page…maybe because we are so alike. I have been getting a nasty case of the SHOULD’S and it is hard to draw the line and just let myself relax after a long day rather than try to jam everything in!! You are amazing and I especially needed this post today, thank you!
Uh yeah, I do this every day.
I agree- sometimes I just don’t feel like doing anything, including blogging.
I do things, unfortunately, that I “should” do but don’t want to do all the time. Certain family functions for my husband and running are two that definitely stand out right now!
One thing a blogger “should” never do is feel obliged to read blogs because they are from frequent commenters.
I know this is a common pressure and I think it is too much.
In that spirit, I encourage you to “mark all as read”…it’s liberating!
But read your faves of course (who could live without Hungry Runner Girl or Mama Pea each day?)
Oh my gosh - I totally agree. PS - I still read every one of your posts.. I just have been sucking in the commenting department!
Heehee …and no commenting “shoulds” either!
You’re golden.
Happy new year!
PS- Can you have nut butter in your class this year?
Nope - another nut allergy!!!
amen!
hahahaa i can totally relate on a different note.
in college, i always feel pressured to do a bazillion things including those that i felt pressured to do but didn’t love…but i think i’m realizing that schools want diversity, so i’m finally starting to let go now and be who i am.
i dont want to be studying or working in lab 24/7 because i’m a more outgoing person..so i think during med school now, im just going to do what i love because i’ll end up being happier that way in the long run. and love it or leave it right?
sure, there are residency programs/specialties more competitive than others…but if they don’t like you the way that you are, maybe you wouldn’t have been a good fit there anyway.
great post girl, I totally understand what you mean about just not feeling like blogging…and having passion for anything in life. Passion is most important, because if you are passionate you tend to love it more, and love radiates onto others. Sometimes I do not always feel like blogging, guess good thing I have a twin sister that will blog if I do not.
I played basketball in school for my dad. It was one thing we did together, but when I got to high school I did not love it. So I eventually stopped playing. I felt horrible to let my dad down, but I do believe he would want me to do something because I love it.
I definitely think you should take time off blogging or other activities when it’s something you don’t have to do and don’t want to!
Oh, and I’m not quite sure how I work 12 months either