Next month is going to mark 2 years since I went gluten free. I know I keep saying this, but for real — where does time go? I had already given up dairy at the time due to some stomach issues, but giving up gluten really hit hard. For someone who didn’t even know what gluten was, asking me to eliminate it from my diet was a little much for me to handle.
But, low and behold, I did it — only to find out 5 months later I also needed to eliminate corn from my diet.
Wah. Wah.
As much as I wanted to (and did) feel sorry for myself, I also had a lot of “why me?” moments. For what reason was I being plagued by all of these food intolerances? Was I being punished for something? Would this make me isolated in a group of friends? Would I ever really be able to enjoy myself when I went out to have fun with others? I threw myself this little pity party for a while — and it only got worse when people told me how sorry they were when I had to deal with it on an every day basis.
My thoughts? I know, right? My life is totally so hard. I can’t believe I have to go through this each an every day.
Pretty soon after I started dealing with my food intolerances, I figured out that my one person grieving period needed to ended — fast. It was (literally) only bringing me down. Instead of thinking “why me?”, I started thinking “why not me?”. As I tell my fifth graders each and every day, life is just not fair. No one has the same experiences, the same issues, the same problems. The great thing about life is we are all different.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that everyone has their own problems — their own inconveniences — their own issues. NO one’s life is perfect and this was what I was given. I also started to think about what I could to do help others who have the same issues, who felt so alone in a food intolerance world.
Who was I to complain about something so little, so insignificant when there are people out there who are dealing with so many more serious issues like cancer, death, and serious health issues? There was no point in feeling sorry for myself when I was probably just going to feel like a big jerk when someone else told me an issue they were having at the moment.
How did I stop my pity party exactly?
1. Be grateful.There are so many reasons why life is seriously so wonderful. I have a beautiful family, a great job, and am happy an healthy.
There is no reason why I should feel like my life is horrible or that my food intolerances (or any other problem) is seriously the end of the world. I hate to sound hokey or be some sort of cliché, but I like to see the good in situations. It’s just part of my personality to be an optimist, so being upset about something as trivial as a food intolerance is not part of me.
2. Become informed. The hardest part of any problem or any hiccup in life is the unknown. By becoming informed about your issue (whatever it may be) makes a world of difference. Read books, talk to doctors — basically, do your research. The hardest part about my food intolerances was not knowing what I could eat — it was so overwhelming. By not giving up and figuring out my own life instead of depending on someone else to do it for me, it made me even more empowered.
3. Help others. Not feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t share your story with others. Believe you me, there are so many people who may be going through the exact same situation as you are — and all you have to do is be open and honest with them about their struggles.
One of the main reasons I started CEC was to do just this — help others. I have gotten to know and spoken to so many people who have had similar issues/problems as I have. Through my writing and relationships with them, I have been able to share my story and let others know there are others out there who 1) care and 2) understand.
Obviously this whole “pity party” mantra can be applied to all aspects of life and problems. We all have our issues. We all have disappointments. We all have hiccups in life. It’s what you do with those, the attitude you choose to have that will shape you an your future.
Remind me to think about the “why not me?” phrase whenever I figure out I don’t have enough money to fund my daily Starbuck’s trips anymore. Now that — that, cannot be remedied.
Question: Have you ever had a “why me?” moment? How did you deal with it? What was the outcome?
{ 67 comments… read them below or add one }
I love this post, you do have so much to be grateful for and its amazing you share your story!
Great attitude to have!
I definitely had numerous “why me?!” moments when I injured myself and basically had to stop running for six months. it seemed so UNFAIR! but it was such an incredible learning experience for me - it taught me to look at things differently, to realize that everything happens for a reason, and to be grateful for the things I do have. Way to make the most of a difficult situation - it’s so important for us all to feel like we are not alone!
Oh I would have definitely had “why me” moments during that same issue! I also believe that everything happens for a reason!
Love you attitude and understand how it’s easy to get sucked into a pity party. I haven’t had a situation like yours, but if I ever do, I will be sure to look back on your tips.
This was a great post! Fantastic read
Great post- that is such a good attitude to have about life
. Of course I have little pity parties for myself sometimes, but I think my biggest “why” moments deal with my family members and why so many of them have serious health problems.
I love this post and it definitely came at a good time for me!
I’ve obviously had a LOT of “why me?” moments with this injury of mine, especially since it is my SECOND major injury of the year!
Some days are better than others and as my intended marathon gets closer, the disappointment grows. However, this second injury has really made me realize that I need to SLOW down and allow my body to recover.
I’m glad this spoke to you! I know you’re really struggling with those injuries - crossing my fingers for a speedy recovery!
I love your outlook. I had to give up so many things with my Chron’s but you are right, there is SOOOO much to be grateful for other than the fact that I can’t eat ice cream. It’s sad, but I’m better off without it.
But it’s okay because coconut milk ice cream is 10x better.
I selfishly have “why me” moments every now and then, but I always stop myself and think about how lucky I really am. The “why me” moments pass and I turn the “why me” into “how did I get so lucky?”. I believe in the importance of seeing the beauty and positivity in everything
I do that too - and then I feel silly for ever having a “why me?” moment!
Great post. I have those moments now and then- who doesn’t?!? It’s so important to not let yourself get lost or dragged down in them though…to keep looking ahead towards the positive!
I love this! You’re always so real about everything and it is great to see how you struggled but then turned it all around for yourself. Imagine what your blog would have been called if you didn’t have to give up those things…keep up the positive attitude and the great clean recipes!
That’s a good question - maybe something like “chelsey loves bread”. Yup, that would be it.
Yes I always seem to have weird health issues but by now I’m used to it so when I have something normal wrong with me I almost get excited. Sick I know!
I actually have to say I’m almost jealous of your intolerances! Ok, actually jealous that you know what they are! I’ve been dealing with a lot of digestive system problems and acid reflux, but my doctors aren’t coming up with any answers. It’s frustrating because I can handle a change I just need to know what to do! Lol but again, I should be thankful that it’s only one problem amongst many blessings - especially my otherwise healthy body!
That must be frustrating - have you had an allergy panel done? Sometimes food intolerances won’t show up on them. I’d be diong some sort of elimination diet to figure it out!
I think that’s what I’m going to start doing. I’ll probably do a week without gluten and then a week without dairy. Good thing I follow all these great vegan and gluten-free blogs! It will make finding things to eat so much easier!
I know I owe you a post…life has been chaos girl and it’s not happening any time soon…sorry! Bear with me and give me a week..or two…hope that’s ok
Anyhooo…
Why Me moments? oh TONS!
Things in my past
My food intolerances
Health challenges
I try to stay positive about it all, too. No sense complaining…it isn’t going to change the reality and a positive attitude just makes you feel better. Ok, sometimes so does whining about it
No problem - whenever you can get it to me is fine! I love that - complaining certainly won’t change anything at all!
I needed this pot to help snap me out of my own little pity party that was going on around here tonight. Thank you!
Mercy. I meant post, not pot.
hahaha seriously laughing out loud so so hard.
I was scrolling through the comments thinking the exact same thing! a little denial and a little pity party happening over here too! I also need this “pot!”
I love your attitude, and I especially love the way you put it into words. “Why not me?” sums things up perfectly.
I went through similar feelings when I was first diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. I had just gotten to the point where I was eating pretty healthy — lots of salads and fruit, and then my doctor told me to cut out high fiber foods. At first, I was very, “Come on, man, I was just starting to do good things for myself.” But like you, I moved on. I found other healthy options. And then, well, I started blogging about it.
I totally needed this post…. It is totally applicable in ALL aspects of life and for everyone. I need to wake up tomorrow and take a big dose of “HAPPY” to start the day off right.
I tell my kids how lucky they are all day long and sometimes i should tell myself how lucky I am!
I think we all have our “why me” moments, big or small, and I think you outlined really well how to best deal with them! I tell my boyfriend all the time if he complains that it could always be worse. Someone’s always having a tougher time or dealing with a bigger problem.
I also think your advice for dealing with your intolerances applies to being vegan as well. While I don’t want to imply at all that vegans have reason to feel sorry for themselves, and I understand that it is a choice and not a necessity, I believe that being grateful, informed, and reaching out to others make the transition and the lifestyle so much easier and way more fun!
Love, love, LOVE this.
You’re doing it girl. Staying positive and helping others through sharing. Thank you.
I had a why me moment earlier today when my 20 week gender ultra scan was cancelled and rescheduled until later this week. I was so excited to find out if I was having a baby boy or baby girl and thought I might be getting punished for skipping church yesterday. Once I looked at the big picture, I realized I wasn’t being punished and things happen. If this is the worst thing that happens to me this week, so be it. It is very small in the grand scheme of things!
Oh I woul have gotten so frustrated!!! But I don’t think God is punishing you either -
Let me know what it is when you find out!!
I’m still struggling with the “why me’s” since being diagnosed in late July. It’s still an adjustment for me. I’m getting better at it though and feeling more positive. Glad I found more blogs with gluten-free authors. I needed it!
As a Diabetic I have plenty of “why me?” moments …usually when my ridiculous sweet tooth is playing devils advocate. I allow myself to have an infrequent pity party guilt free because you know what, sometime it’s pretty frustrating. But than I move on. Because really, what’s watching how much sugar you eat in comparison to how much other people have to deal with? I actually truly appreciate the fact that I’ve only know this life style and didn’t have to go through the major adjustments.
Being diabetic would be so much more difficult than dealing with any sort of food intolerance I could think of! Great attitude!
I’ve had several of those moments over the last year as I dealt with food allergies and extreme environmental allergies. When everyone was out enjoying picnics, running outside, the beach, etc…I was hiding inside to avoid having a reaction and using my epi pen.
I still have the why me feeling every now and again when going out with friends for food but I’ve learned to enjoy the food I can instead of getting sick trying to eat what I can’t.
Good for you, my lady! Such a great attitude you’ve taken on!
I had those feeling when I couldn’t get preggo for a while…I was looking at life though a “why not me” attitude and constantly bummed out. It wasn’t until I turned my attitude around that it finally happened!
I actually just had a “wah wah someone else I know is pregnant” moment tonight even though I don’t even want to get pregnant right now. I’m so weird. haha - I came back and read this post.
And… you’ve got one cute baby to prove that your attitude was awesome!
and THIS is why your blog is one of my all time favorites. seriously love love looooove your perspectove… on EVERYTHING, Chelsey!
Thanks lady - I <3 you!
I LOVE this post! It is so true and I honestly find myself thinking why me all. the. time. I do remind myself that I have so many blessings and should be grateful for what I have. I hope to help others one day as well and I love that you are doing the same!
I had the same feelings when I found out about my intolerances. I even went to the point of eating the food even though I knew it would make me sick!! I felt like a drug addict! and that’s exactly what I told myself “How much better am I from someone else that is doing something harmful to his/her body?” So that was my breaking point, but I did go through a year of little blues and crankiness when my family that didn’t understand would push things on me that I normally loved to eat that I couldn’t. I would never take it back now though, because I know the truth on eating “healthy” which is sad to say most people do not. I used to think a Banquet chicken pot pie was “healthy” It has a few little pieces of carrots, and ice cream has calcium right?? haha =)
you couldn’t have said it better! you are so right
Such a great and eloquent answer! My dad at some point asked me “why don’t you take some sort of medicine to make it that your body will digest this food?” and I had to answer with - “because I’m not going to force my body to do something it doesn’t want to /can’t do!”
I have had why me moments a lot. I have an inflammatory nerve condition that causes a lot of pain and some physical limitations for me. While I still struggle all the time with accepting this, I have done this a lot - thinking why NOT me…people get MS, cancer, etc all the time, it just happens to some people and not others and it helps to think that way.
I have a lot of “Why me” moments - and my competing mantra is, “Suck it up, buttercup”. You can’t have a pity party when you’re a buttercup. It just doesn’t work…
Absolutely. I think ‘why me?’ moments are part of being human, but like most things, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it. You’ve clearly got that figured out- your outlook is so honest and positive, and helps the rest of us keep things in perspective, too!
It really is all about attitude and perspective! You are such a beautiful and brave woman for facing it head on and looking at all of the good in your life instead of dwelling on this obstacle in your life! Great read
I’m having one right now sort of. I broke my toe over the weekend. I am training for my first marathon. I refuse to let this dampen my spirit though. I’m doing all the right interventions, rest, ice, elevation and buddy taping it to next toe. I will see the doctor tomorrow. I will keep up with strength training and whatever cardio I’m able to do like the elliptical. The marathon isn’t until January. As much as I want to feel bad and lament oh woe is me, I can’t. I’ve come this far and I am not giving up this easily.
Good for you for turning your mindset around. I love that you carry the same message to your students.
Ouch! I hope you heal quickly! What marathon are you running?
Thank you. I’m running the Disney marathon in Florida on January 8!
I am running the half on the 7th!
I’m going through huge ups and downs trying to figure out exactly what it is I’m intolerant to at the moment and find myself having pity parties for myself all time! It’s not fair that i can’t go out drinking with my friends, it’s not fair I can’t eat that freshly baked bread sitting down in the kitchen, it’s not fair other people know what they’re intolerant to and I don’t! etc etc.. but I’ve found my biggest help in pulling myself out of these are blogs such as yours! So thankyou! I know that things could be SO much worse and that I’ll work it all out eventually!
Thanks for commenting, Laura! Have you been working with any doctors to try to figure them out or have you been working on your own?
Sure am! Working through an elimination diet with a naturopath, getting tests done through my GP and seeing a gastro specialist next week. Even though the elimination diet isn’t working as well as it should be for me I’ve learnt SO much about clean eating/whole foods, which I’m so grateful for!
Awesome! I worked with a holistic doctor too and it made a world of difference!
LOVE this post, Chelsey! Your optimism is contagious and I love that: “Why NOT me”…..no one is above anything, sometimes it’s not the issue at hand which is the problem but instead our reaction! To be honest, if I was diagnosed with various intolerances, I know I would have a ‘why me’ moment but this has really put a positive spin to it! Thanks!
You know I think the pity parties are completely fine…as long as ya do soon realize that it’s not a vendetta against you!
You have a great attitude about it!
You have such a great outlook Chels! I think you’ve done an amazing thing by starting your blog. I’m sure all your GF recipes and informative posts must be a big help to so many others.
I definitely have “Why me” moments when it comes to my nut allergies. I hate that I’ll never be able to try Larabars or Love Grown granola or even just a Reese’s PB cup.
But on the other hand it forces me to bake for myself more, which I enjoy!
I’m sure you already touched upon this but what made you come to the conclusion that corn was also an intolerance for you. I have been having some of my own food intolerances lately. The list includes gluten, a recently discovered corn allergy and a potato allergy. I have to admit that I was shocked by the corn allergy so I was curious to know what testing brought you to this conclusion. I also wonder if somehow they all are related. I have found that most people allergic to corn also seem to have a gluten sensitivity. I am sure you posted about this at some point so if you could point me in the direction of the post I would appreciate it. Thanks a bunch!
I heart you and your positive outlook on life and how you share it with others. You have an impact! Love love love you!
<3 you too friend! :)
you have a great attitude! I think everyone has woe is me moments - i have a good one or two at least weekly then i have to take a moment and realize how lucky i am… totally natural
Chelsey, I too have felt that way with all my stomach issues and food intolerances as well. I have IBS and can’t have wheat or gluten products and it seems I suffer with stomach issues alot and it can be frustrating but I know things can be worse.
Thankfully gluten agrees pretty well with my body, but I love reading about your story and others! I think I need to broaden my knowledge a little sometimes!
Hi Chelsey, I just found you through Ashley at Edible Perspective, and I am so glad I did! I am a recent member (~9 months) of the gluten intolerant club, so this post was so good for me to read. I am still in the process of figuring out what else is going on, but already I am feeling so much better. I am a vegetarian too, so I look forward to reading more of your stuff!
Wow, sounds like my life. I was only (finally) diagnosed this year (February) with Celiac. Suffered for 9 years of vomitting any where from 5-8 times a week. Kept food logs that never made sense. Was diagnosed in 1994 with lactose, fructose and sorbetol intolerance. After switching Doctors in December 2010, took the new one 2.5 months to figure out my problem. Every day I am learning new things.
I used to wonder all the time - why me? Why i have so many issues! A friend of mine showed me your blog ! Thanks!
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