“Fuuuuuuddgeee”
Wasn’t that phrase so much more enjoyable when we were younger and could giggle about the “underlying” meaning behind it? I can think back to the very first time I watched A Christmas Story, which was probably inside the womb to be perfectly honest with you — and every single year I giggled a little bit every time Ralphie dropped that fudging lug nut outside of his family vehicle on the way home from getting the Christmas tree.
Now, I’m not one to have a vulgar mouth, but there have been a few times I would like to say fudge. Like, for instance. when my contacts felt like I had shards of glass hanging out in my eyes for the entire morning. Lucky for me, I foresaw this occurring (psychic powers), so I just so happened to have my glasses in my large and in charge teaching bag. Or maybe we could talk about the 30 minute post office line I waited in today. Apparently everyone and their brother are mailing out gifts on December fifth to beat the rush — and apparently I waited until the very last second to mail some cookies out. Procrastination never wins, my friends.
Did I remember to tell you all about the fudge I ate on Thanksgiving? It was really good. Delicious. Delectable. I can still feel my mouth watering just thinking about it. And then I remember the two day stomachache I got from eating two measly pieces of fudge. Um, yeah — not so much fun. So I decided yesterday I was going to make some fudge. Something dark. Something chocolatey. Something that would also make my mouth water, but not make my stomach hurt after consumption.
Houston, we have a fudge fail.
I’m sorry if you got your hopes up. And I’m even sorrier for that spoonful of fudge I ate out of the side of the pan before I photographed it. I bet you were thinking about a delicious fudge recipe you were going to receive tonight. For this, I am truly remorseful.
I don’t know what happened (actually I do), but I ended up with what I’d like to call a fudgsicle. Perfect for 90 degree July weather, not so great for 30 degree December weather. It freezes up real nice — and then I can’t get it cut out of the pan. Then I let it defrost in the fridge, only to find a creamy milky mess that will not stay together.
This is not a problem for me — you see, as I have been willingly eating it up with a spoon for the last twenty four hours. But it would become a problem if I ever tried to gift it. “Did you enjoy your fudge soup for Christmas this year?” Yeah, I’m not thinking people would ever want a gift from me again.
So tonight, you’re not getting a recipe. You’re not even getting an inkling as to what might be in this frozen chocolatey mess. Attempt #2 is coming soon.
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Hopefully you have an easier Tuesday! I’m sure you’ll perfect the recipe but I appreciate when other bloggers share their kitchen fails too.
I never saw A Christmas Story…still haven’t, but I saw the play last week in Raleigh and I thought it was brilliant! I told my dad that we have to get the movie so I can watch it. My grandma makes a quick fudge with just homemade icing and melted chocolate chips then just lets it set in the fridge. Works pretty well.
Hopefully your #2 attempt will work, because I love fudge so I’ll be glued to my screen waiting for another delectable recipe!
Chelsey, I am sorry to say that looks an absolute shambles!
)
I am also really happy to see that other people have kitchen disasters. (I mean that nicely
Looking forward to seeing the next attempt.
I made the most amazing fudge for thanksgiving - and then preceded to eat it all in 1 sitting….talk about a tummy ache! It was peanut butter, not chocolate (I’m allergic) but you could probably tweak it. It was super super easy and AMAZING. I just mixed equal parts peanut flour and confectionary sugar and then added unsweetened almond milk little by little until I could roll it into balls. Stuck it in the freezer and it remained perfect (until I ate it all!). I’ve since made it without the sugar and a few drops of stevia instead which is still good but I wouldn’t serve it to anyone. I bet you could some part of the peanut flour for cocoa powder and it’d probably be awesome!
Somehow a pan full of chocolate never seems like a fail to me…no matter how it turns out. If its any consolation I tried my hand at a chia-based freezer fudge conconction last week and it was also a complete fail. But we shall try again and prevail, yes?
Put it on top of ice cream!
Sometimes fails happen but I’d say to somehow salvage it…and throw what you can into a blender and make…ice cream with a banana or use it to make a shake out of….I would try save it but I love my chocolate, at all costs. lol
Cold/frozen fudge sounds good to me. Reaallly good. I say you run with this…
Do you want an early christmas present?
Hahaha! That’s the saddest looking fudge picture I’ve ever seen. I mean that in the nicest way of course
I’d be eating it with a spoon too. Nothing goes to waste, especially chocolate!
I know. As I was scooping it out of the pan, I thoguht to myself that I should have lined it with parchment paper or something so it could come out easily. Whooops.
This fudge looks a million times better than I could ever make.
Awwww FUDGE! Ha!
It happens girl, next time will be successful! ; )
Hahaha! I loved this post! Hilarious
Chelsey, I really like this post! For lots of reasons. #1- Fudge #2- you made us wait. Can’t believe I’m saying this! …..Anticipation is always the best, this seems worth waiting for. Have a wonderful evening!
Oh my, I’ve had so many recipes that I’ve done this too!! Can’t wait to see your next attempt! ;]
<3
awww….and I LOVE A Christmas Story!! Raaaaalphie!!
I have a fail proof (and oh so very bad for you) fudge recipe. I can’t wait to make it!!!
Don’t worry, I still love you.
Did you see this weekend’s SNL? They do a sketch with Whiney Houston and say, “Houston, do YOU have a problem?” ahahah I died.
I have never seen A Christmas Story.
Thank goodness for teacher bags! Wishing you a better Tuesday
And…excited to see the fudge recipe!
Haha. I love it. I’ve had some failed experiments like this before. I actually had one tonight. I tried to fix it. I’ll let you know how it turned out.
hey, on the bright side, it’s still a whole pan of chocolate!
um, now it’s only about 2/3 of a pan of chocolate.
I looked at that first picture and though, “ugh, that doesn’t look good”. I was actually happy for you that it was a fail and you weren’t posting a recipe for that pic.
Good luck with your next batch-sometimes the best recipes come after a fail!
hahaha!!!
sorry to hear about the fudge fail, my friend! an attempt at making a successful batch of fudge is a goal of mine this month - we’ll see how it goes!
LOL!!!!!!!!!
i am so glad to have found your blog!
1. although i’m an absolute film SNOB, i have never and shall never view “a christmas story” for reasons that i cannot even begin to divulge here!
2. i am happy to know that i’m not the only kitchen failure (although yours clearly only happens once in a purple moon). does your poochie bark when the oven opens? mine thinks that it’s a scary monster.
3. i laughed really hard at your spoonful’s peck into the burnt fudge. haha!
happy tuesday. x
Hahah kitchen failures happen to the best of us! For someone who has an extremely sweet tooth, I’m not a fan of fudge…it’s too sticky and my teeth aren’t a fan! Better luck next time
Haha this reminds me of the time my friend tried to make fudge for the class in 7th grade, but it just ended up being fudgey goop!
But hey, it still looks good! You can’t go wrong with chocolate!
Gah your tweet got me way excited! There best be an attempt 2!
There will be - don’t you worry!!
Aw, kitchen fails are the worst!
The only time I’ve ever tried to make fudge it turned out absolutely disgusting. And, unfortunately, I haven’t had the guts to make a 2nd attempt yet.
Here’s to hoping your next fudge experience turns out better than this one!
Haha sometimes kitchen fails work out so well though! My dad, when we were kids, tried to make fudge and totally failed. It was grainy (the sugar didn’t melt well enough) and gooey and liquidy, but it TASTED soooo good. It tasted like melted toffee, pure heaven.
He tried a couple of times after to make fudge again but we made him promise to stick to the same recipe so of course it failed and of course we enjoyed it nonetheless!
i dont get what happened here? lol. Did you try baking the fudge as appose to melting the chocolate and other ingredients and then letting it set up in the fridge?
no it was not baked - i stuck it in the freezer to set and it just wouldn’t.
Seriously what IS it with this week?! I thought it was just a case of the Mondays on, well, Monday, but now it’s Wednesday and things haven’t changed. Hope your week looks up starting today, Chelsey!
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