In all of my years, I never ever thought I would have to be lumped into the “infertile” category. In fact, I don’t even feel like I should be lumped into that category – but I guess that would be my optimism at its finest right there. Since the Husband and I are not really actively trying to get pregnant at the moment, I guess that’s why I won’t put myself into that category. Despite my ability to talk down the situation, I am infertile. I am going through infertility. Could I actually get pregnant right now? No. That’s the cold, hard truth whether we’re trying or not. At only 24 years old, so many questions and thoughts pop through my head. What did I do? What can I do? Could I have done anything differently so this wouldn’t happen? For someone who has dreamed of becoming a mother since I figured out that women have babies, it only makes the battle so much more difficult.
When my period didn’t return when I was 22, it alarmed me – but I didn’t really think about it too much. “I have time”, I’d tell myself. “You’re so young. Don’t even cross that bridge until you get to it.” But you know what they say, the second you don’t have something, it’s the only thing you want. I went through a period where I ignored the problem, only to find out my thyroid levels were not normal.
“Hypothyroid”, the doctors told me – and I rejoiced for finally figuring out the problem. After making the very difficult decision of starting to take thyroid replacement medication, I sat back and waited for my period to return. False hopes led to disappointment, so I once again wanted to ignore the problem. I told myself it didn’t matter right now. The Husband and I weren’t trying, so I could just forget about it.
I never really did forget about it though. Each and every day, I have had a nagging reminder of how my body wasn’t normal and about how it wasn’t working properly. If you talk to any woman who has lost her menstrual cycle for any reason, I am sure the majority of them would tell you just how difficult it is to feel like a woman when the very thing that makes you a woman is stripped away from you. It causes a series of emotional rollercoaster rides, especially since your hormones really are all over the place.
I began working with my natural care doctor on a series of supplements to try to induce my period. After a year and a half of trying, it almost feels useless. I know we have made so many gains in the past few months, but man – I am tired emotionally and mentally.
Last year, I also went through the process of weeding out the chance of there being anything else physically wrong with my body. I was referred to an infertility clinic. They ran test after test on me – MRI’s on my brain to scan for a pituitary tumor, ultrasounds to look for cysts and fibroids – and everything came out normal. ::whew:: A sigh of relief only to be nagged with the question “well what really is wrong with me then?”
They told me it was unexplained – that my brain wasn’t creating the hormones it should be which in turn create estrogen. This doctor told me he sees this problem in a variety of different patients, and it could be caused by a variety of problems, including stress, being a long distance athlete, or having an eating disorder. I asked him about my running, but they all told me “no – you’re not running long enough for it to be a problem”, especially since I was eating enough to make up for the running I was doing.
Regardless, there’s nothing wrong with me, but I’m still not getting my period. The problem still exists.
If there is anything in the world I don’t want to do, it is to take fertility drugs to get pregnant. Yes, I would do anything if I came down to the desperation of nothing else working, but I want to avoid it if I can. I know a lot of people don’t have a choice – they have problems even worse than me, including something physical happening with their reproductive system.
There was a time last year where I was having a very hard time accepting all of this. Around the time my sister got pregnant, I was an emotional wreck. Not because I wanted to be pregnant at the time – not at all. The reason why I was so upset, and subsequently why I never discussed this with anyone, was because I knew no matter how hard I tried at the moment, it wouldn’t happen for me. Moreover, I never wanted to make her pregnancy about me and what I was going through, especially since I was so happy I had a niece on the way. Every time anyone asked me “so when are you two going to have one?”, I cringed a little, held back tears, and smiled only to joke that I had to “train the Husband before we could have one of our own.” On the inside, I was dying just a little bit and only confided in my mother just how much that question hurt me because she knew exactly what I was going through. Even typing out that paragraph makes me well up, remembering just how difficult it was to fend off those questions in a charismatic way.
Being proactive, I wanted to try something different – something most fertility clinic/information pages kept leading me to.
Acupuncture.
I got the final push from Kathleen, who has been undergoing acupuncture as well. After she explained her situation and story to me, I felt like there was nothing to lose and only miles to gain. I researched acupuncturists who specialize in infertility in my area, found one that got great reviews, and made an appointment for an initial consultation.
The day I went in for my first appointment, I was nervous and doubting myself. I didn’t really tell too many people what I was planning to do, only because I know many people out there are skeptics of the whole process. The bottom line to me is that Eastern world treatments have been around for thousands of years – they obviously work if they have been around that long. I kept telling myself as I pulled into the doctor’s office and walked up the flight of stairs to his office.
The first thing I noticed when I walked through the door and met the receptionist was pictures. Behind the receptionist’s desk, there were pictures lining the back wall – of babies. A wave of comfort came over me as I had concrete proof that this doctor had already helped all of those women conceive in some sort of way – whether it was because of anovulation (like me) or going through perimenopause in their early 40’s.
I have only undergone one treatment after having quite a lengthy consultation with the Chinese Medicine doctor –and I can tell you I am hopeful. The facts are that he has helped many women ovulate. He has given me information to read. He has given me tips on what to eat and what not to eat. I still have a lot of healing and work to go through, but if there’s one thing that’s the most important throughout this experience it is that I am hopeful and have faith that somehow someway it will work itself out.
The only person who could really get me through any of this is the Husband. He has been amazing – understanding and not asking questions that I really don’t want to talk about as my frustration goes through the roof when talking about everything I am undergoing at the moment. He finds a way to make sure we can pay for all of this out of pocket since insurance won’t cover it – even though I know in the back of his mind he is one of the skeptics of my new idea about acupuncture. He never fails to amaze me and accept me for who I am.
One thing I don’t want you to tell me is “I’m so sorry you have to go through this” or “wow, you’re so strong to have to deal with this.” Please don’t. I have not had to undergo near as much heartache as so many women throughout the world like those that have had to deal with miscarriages or fertility treatments that have not worked. I’m young, I’m optimistic, and I know when the time is right, things will fall into place – even if it’s not on my watch or timing.
I actually debated for a few days whether or not to even post this. I thought long and hard, I asked a few friends for advice, and decided I shouldn’t discredit or downplay my feelings or emotions about this subject because they are true and important despite what others may think.
So what comes next? Waiting – again and keeping my fingers crossed that this time something happens!
{ 168 comments… read them below or add one }
what can i say. thanks you for sharing? that sounds so lame. reading your story is important for me but i dont feel like going into detail. either way, it may be scary putting yourself out there for the entire internet reading world, but at the same time, maybe getting it out there will prove therapeutic in some way.
xxx
Thanks Elise - it was pretty therapeutic and from the responses I have gotten already, I already feel like I have helped others feel a little more “normal” with their own struggles.
Thank you so much for posting this. I appreciate that you posted raw, genuine emotions. I think so often we hide what is on our minds for fear of societal repercussions, but I think discussing issues like these - things so many women experience - is so, so important. So thank you.
And I am sending lots of positive, finger-crossed thoughts your way!
Thanks Emily - I really appreciate it!
It’s so brave of you to share this story with your readers - it sounds like you have a great support system and are doing your best to control what you can - keeping you in my thoughts! <3
Oh gosh! This post is wonderful and incredibly brave of you. I too have had something deeply personal and intimately related to my femininity stripped from me (unfairly. hmmph) for medical reasons, so I totally know what that is like. I’ve only gone to acupuncture a few times, and it was loooong ago, so I don’t remember it well. I hope the treatments go well!
(Your attitude is inspiring.)
I’m sorry you had to go through whatever it was you went through Sarah!
Thank you for this post. I am 23 (almost 24) and going through something very similar. I really respect you and admire you for putting that out there…you have helped me (and others, when they read this, I’m sure) more than you will ever know.
Thanks so much for the support!
I applaud you for making this public, because so many women suffer in silence. You are not alone. It is sweet of you to acknowledge women going through worse, but I want to take the time to acknowledge your struggle as well. I am 28 and finally pregnant after 2 years of fertility treatments, finally resorting to IVF to get to this point, which I really did not want to do, like you. This is a tough process, but I believe you are strong enough to handle it, just by reading this post. I’m proud you put his all out there and I wish you the very best. I love acupuncture and strongly felt and believe in its power to heal.
What a blessing! Good luck with your little one!
Wow I’m so glad I shared! And don’t feel in any way that your emotions are invalid. I also have struggled to get my period and my emotions were (and honestly still are) all over the place as a result of all the frustration! I’ll cross my fingers for you!
when i asked about the acupuncture last week via twitter, i obviously assumed (wrongfully) that it was for pain because that is the only reason i ever knew people tried the practice, but that is fascinating that it can potentially help with a situation like this. good luck with everything, and although you dont want to hear it, you are brave and strong for enduring the mental, emotional and physical discomfort of trying to gain fertility.
thanks for being so open and sharing! <3
I never really thought about it either until all of those fertility clinic sites kept leading e to acupuncture. I figured it was wroth a try, right?
Chelsey, I love how you so openly shared your thoughts. Thanks for that!
I might be doing acupuncture soon too - but for different reasons. I was in a bad car accident last Friday and am dealing with all of the back/neck pain. I’m excited to see if it helps!
Yikes! I hope you feel better soon!
I’ve read your blog for a little over a year without commenting! Thank you for honestly expressing yourself here and sharing your experience. This is such a central issue for women that no one seems to talk about. You are very brave, Chelsey, and your optimism is inspiring.
Thanks for coming out of the lurker shadows, Jen!
I’m not any braver than any other woman who has had to go through this - thank you for the support!
Thank you for being so honest and open! I’ve struggled with disordered eating for about 6 years and I also have hypothyroidism. I’m not yet ready to start to try having a baby, but the time is not too far off. I decided to try chiropractic care and after biweekly adjustments for 5 weeks my period returned. I have no idea if it has to do with the adjustments or if my body finally decided to menstruate, but it happened! I’ll pray for you and your treatment! I’m not sure if you’ve thought about chiropractic care, but it’s worth a shot!
How amazing!!! I have been getting adjusted bi-weekly for years! I love chiropractic care!
Thanks for sharing your story Chelsea — we all know it isn’t easy to write about something so personal.
I’m really interested to hear if the acupuncture helps, and certainly hoping that it does!
I’ll be sending you all the positive vibes & good energy I can!
Aren’t husbands amazing for being so supportive? I’m excited for the day when you get your dream of being a mama, I know you’ll be a wonderful one. Thanks for sharing your story Chels
They are so wonderful. I don’t have to explain why I ever want to try something - he knows me well enough to just love me through it. And I know YOU are going to be an amazing mama - so soon!!
Thanks for posting and sharing about this. I’m going through something similar and it’s great to know that I’m not the only one. It takes a lot of courage to share something like this. Good luck with the acupuncture.
Good luck with your struggles as well jen!
Thank you for posting this! I too am 24 and dealing with infertility issues. Although, like you my husband and I haven’t tried to get pregnant the unknown journey of what challenge lies ahead is scary. You will figure this thing out, I hope the accupunture works and please keep us all posted. You are brave to post something so personal and I appreciate it, it’s helpful and makes me feel like I’m not alone in this journey!
Good luck Amanda! Let me tell you though - if there’s one thing I am so glad about, it is about the fact I was proactive about everything. I always told myself I would never know how long this process would take me so I better start NOW!
I’m glad you came to the decision to share you story with us. This hits home as I too have an issue producing estrogen. I haven’t had my period in over 3 years. I’ve been to doctors and have even been told that I just need to gain weight and stop exercising. Seriously. I’m not underweight and my BMI is right where it should be. I was shocked that this was the type of solution I was being offered. I was also given estrogen pills which I stopped taking due to breast cancer running in my family. It’s a difficult thing to face and I’m glad I’m not alone.
I’m also VERY happy you’ve decided to go the acupuncture route as I have also chosen to do the same! I purchased a Groupon (I mean, why not!) and plan on scheduling my first appointment in the next couple weeks. I hope you plan to share your experiences with us as you progress in your treatments. I honestly cannot express how thankful I am that you have chosen to share this with us. I’ll be thinking of you.
Wow - what struggles you have been through! I’m glad you’re also going to try out with the acupuncture - keep me posted!
Maria, it is perfectly possibly to have hypothalamic amenorrhea with a “normal” BMI. It is usually a combination of calorie restriction, a lot of exercise, and sometimes stress, that is keeping our bodies from ovulating normally. My BMI never got below 20, which is well within the normal range; when I got it up to 23 I finally started cycling again. It is worth considering gaining some weight and cutting exercise to see if that can help.
Honestly I’m surprised so many docs have told you to gain weight / stop exercising as they often don’t seem willing to acknowledge that can be the issue.
Wishing you the best of luck with acupuncture! Thank you for sharing your story. I think it is great that you are being proactive with your situation and appreciate your honesty in this post.
Silence… Chelsey, you are so brave to post it. A few years ago I had a miscarriage, and wasn’t able to talk about it at all. I remember going through a very emotional cycle, afraid to drop a word into society. My husband was very supportive but my preference was to avoid any conversations on a subject. I felt the same way: I didn’t want a pity from anyone or a “sorry you have to go through this”. Dear Chelsey, thank you for this post. Sending a big hug your way… What comes next? Life!
Oh Marina, my heart breaks that you had to go through that and kept it all in. I can’t even imagine!
Thank you for sharing your story and I know you said you didn’t want to hear it but I am truly so sorry you have to endure this. No one should have to go through this and I’m sorry that it’s you.
As for acupuncture, I am believer in it and Traditional Chinese Medicine and herbs. I believe they saved my pregnancy when it seemed that a much more dire course was imminent. Truly, I walked into an acu appt. thinking that it wasn’t going to work, hopeful, but not giving it much hope and it turned a horrible, awful situation into something amazing. And my baby turned 5 last week
Email me if you ever need to talk.
Your baby is quite adorable
- I am amazed to hear about how acupuncture helped save her. Gives me chills!
“If you talk to any woman who has lost her menstrual cycle for any reason, I am sure the majority of them would tell you just how difficult it is to feel like a woman when the very thing that makes you a woman is stripped away from you.”
This really resonated with me. I’m also suffering from anovulation with no explanation, and I’m only 25. Before knowing what was wrong with me, I wasn’t sure I wanted children. I’m still not sure. But I feel as though I’m being haunted by all of the conversations about babies, pregnancy, the questions about “when it will be me,” and my decision to only let a few people know because I’m having a difficult time dealing with it. It certainly is a roller coaster as far as emotions go, and I really look forward to hearing more about your journey. I’ll be here reading as much as you’re willing to share. Thank you, Chelsey.
Good luck with everything Courtney!
how cool! This was a really interested read girly! Thanks for sharing
So glad that you shared your story. I have gone through similiar feelings (in that I also was told I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant without fertility medicine. My period was gone for a long time and then i started getting my period every two weeks.) Reading this post made me cry, in remembering those same feelings of not being able to have a baby, even it if isn’t the right time yet. I started acupuncture 5 months ago and have seen a huge difference! There are still some ups and downs in my cycle but I’ve made great progress. Plus, it has helped with lots of other health problems I have! I wish you all the best!!!
Good luck Alanna!
i admire you, your optimism, and how you’re doing with this so much. as i’ve mentioned to you before, i have nonexistent periods as well, and it’s extremely scary. i, like you, have always dreamed of being a mother someday. i haven’t done as many tests as you have quite yet, but i’m sure they will come soon. i’m looking forward to hearing more about how acupuncture works for you! i’m excited for you girl!
Your story sincerely hits home with me. After 3.5 years of being infertile (mostly due to lack of periods/ovulation etc — perhaps brought on by years of being a dancer/exerciser,ow body weight/fat, etc, my husband and I are now pregnant. I had to lay of running, put on a few lbs and did acupunture along with IVF and IUI. After many unsuccessful attempts, our last try worked and our baby is due in June. Keep hope alive and know that it make take a combo of western and eastern medicine to get you there — but it’s worth it. Promise.
Congratulations Meredith! And I agree, I am not opposed to fertility treatments. I’m going to give myself a window of time before I seriously consider them though!
Sorry to welcome you to the dark side(for some reason, even though you didn’t say anything, I really felt that there was an underlying something about when your sister was pregnant, I thought “she’s writing this like she’s infertile, but, she never said she was infertile”_.
Accupuncture is fantastic and can be very helpful, especially for resolving hormonal stuff.
But, being told that your infertile young, sucks, for me (I was 19) it really changed who I was.
Anyhow, I’m an infertile vet, if you ever want to vent, ask questions, pull out your hair, feel free to email me.
Thank you for telling your story, Chelsey. I had my ovaries removed two years ago due to cancer, and at the time I was 100% concerned with getting better and just had them do whatever needed to be done. But now it is becoming harder to face the fact that I will never be able to conceive normally, especially when so many friends around me are becoming pregnant. I know how you feel and wish you the best of luck with the acupuncture!
So sorry you had to go through that Laura!
I’m so glad you posted this (don’t get me wrong, I was tearing up on the bus reading this) but I think being open about it will not only help readers who are dealing with the same thing, but will probably show you just how many other women are just like you! I’ve heard only good things about acupuncture, so I really hope this helps! P.S. we need to get together sometime soon!
Thanks Katie dearest! I know you knew about most of this already, but I appreciate your support. We do need to get together sooooon!
Good luck!! I know a few women who have had success with fertility problems through acupuncture- I’ll be hoping it works for you too!!
Chelsea, thanks for posting this. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome when I was 16, and I have been terrified ever since then about being infertile. I am now in a serious relationship with the man that I will mary, and it scares me that I might not be able to have children. You are not alone. XO
I will say a prayer that this works for you, Chelsey. Godspeed.
Dont you hate that question? I feel like its so rude, just because you and your husband are “newlyweds” doesn’t mean you have to have children anytime soon, or ever, if you two choose not to. Who’s business is it but your own? Some people may want to talk about it, which is their prerogative, but I don’t think you should have to explain yourself. I think your story is a nice reminder that there’s always more to the story, and by asking questions like that you could be hurting that person more than you know. Good luck with the acupuncture, I’ve got my fingers crossed for you and your husband!
You are so brave for sharing this story, Chelsey. While I’m not to a stage in my life where I’m ready to have children, I know that your story can help so many women. From talking to friends about similar topics, it seems as though people are sometimes afraid to tell their story (which is okay), but I think it gives others hope to know and be informed about the difficulties that come with conceiving. I hope the acupuncture is successful - you will be a fabulous mom!
Thank you for posting this chelsey. I too have infertility problems. Even though I am only 22, I still get upset thinking that I may never be able to have a baby. My period disappeared when I was twenty and has only come back 3 or 4 times since then. Doctors keep telling me, “eat more fat and protein.” Well, I have never eat so many nuts, avocados, olive oils, and beans in my life, and it still hasn’t fully come back. I hope the acupuncture works for you! I will say a prayer.
ha! I hear you - You have no clue how much fat I eat in a day! Well, maybe you do - I do post a “daily eats” post each week!
Thank you so much for posting this Chelsey! I can’t imagine what you have been going through, but your post conveys so much emotion and hope, and I wish you all the best in this journey! Also, after reading this, I think so highly of your husband! Obviously I don’t know him haha, but he sounds like a truly amazing man and a wonderfully supportive partner. That’s a rare thing to have in this world and I’m so glad that you have it! <3
This is so beautifully written, Chelsey. Thank you for sharing this. You have no idea how many women you are touching with your words.
His timing is perfect and He will provide. I’ll be praying.
Thanks for sharing. It sounds like you have a good attitude about the situation, and you’re absolutely right: things will all fall into place the way they are supposed to when they are supposed to. Good luck with the acupuncture.
Chelsey - never underestimate the power of prayer! I know my mom was told the same thing and during the process of adoption for my brother, she got pregnant. He has a perfect plan for your family!
I am so glad you wrote this! I will be 35 next month. We have been trying to conceive for over a year. I just went to see a fertility doctor last week. I left 100% confused with no plan of action. My friends have recommended a particular acupuncturist and I am planning on going to her if we are not successful soon. Best wishes of success
Great post, Chelsey. I honestly don’t know what else to say other than that. It’s honest, heartfelt and well articulated. I wish you the best outcome with all of this
I am so proud of you for posting this, and for being brave enough to try something that is perhaps not so mainstream in our country. The only way woman can support one another is to share, and talk openly. I attribute both of my healthy, beautiful children to acupuncture! I miscarried three times before I overheard a friend at a party talking about how her acupucturist had changed her life….in healing a chronic knee pain she had had for 6 years. I mentioned my issue and she said this woman actually specialized in fertility and had a PHD in it! Zip…off I went. 45 minutes to myself, relaxing, reflecting, just being….once or twice a week. She helped my body prepare…when I ovulated, when I was pregnant…and thru the 1st trimester. I also had no morning sickness:) She then saw me again to help get me ready to deliver…she also told me the sex of both babies before the Dr did…she also told me they were healthy, before the Dr. did. Something about the way our energy flows, and on what side of the body it flows stronger…I don’t know…call me crazy…but it worked, she was right…and I still see her when anything is “off” with me…I am always back to my old self in no time. But I will also tell you I believed in her, and it it, and in my own body. Thought is creative and powerful….your spirit, mind and body are on the right course!!!! Thank you for sharing your journey.
That is absolutely amazing Jennifer - thank you for sharing your story with me!
You have NO idea how much this post hit my heart today, it was fate. We need to talk sometime. I had a really rough day and this made me feel better, just for you opening up, and I do to feel sorry for all the woman who have problems with getting pregnant, I am grateful every day for just walking. Love ya girl, and saying prayers you get your period back. I am having problems too, and today I was a wreck, lol!
I need to email you. Goodnight : ) xoxo
I would LOVE it if you emailed me - it’s so much easier to go through hard times with people who love and support you!!
Love that you shared this! I know nobody likes comparing, but when I went off birth control pills, I didn’t get my period back for nearly a year… and with no explanation. So I understand that feeling of ‘not being a woman’ and even though it’s not true, it’s how it feels.
but I’m so glad you were open about this. I think many many more women have troubles in this area than admit to it.
I think it’s fantastic that you are trying to figure things out now instead of waiting until you’re ready to have a baby RIGHTNOW because you’ll be able to approach it (hopefully) in a more relaxed manner.
I don’t want to say anything I’m not allowed to
And on a final note (then I promise I’ll stop typing a novel on your blog), what foods did the acupuncturist recommend eating and not eating?
Good luck with everything Chelsey- you got this!
Thanks lady - <3 you!
He took a look at my blog during out consultation to see the things I eat (I showed him a WIAW post to get a feel for what I eat), and he told me I should avoid peanuts (and eat almond butter instead), cut out the coffee (i’m weaning myself off of it), eat a wide variety of berries, and eat at least 2 eggs a day. He also recommended no dairy, but organic plain greek yogurt was okay.
Chelsey,
Thank you for showing me that other women have this same struggle. I know it’s a problem in more women than I realize, but when someone brings it I your attention, it makes it that much easier to not feel alone in the struggle to create your dream. I hope you get everything you hope for and more out of the treatments. Who knows, maybe I will look into the same type of treatments because your post opened my eyes to it. Thank you for being so open….it makes a difference whether you realize it or not.
You already know what I think and all. I love you. I’m here for you. And one of these days…I’ll get to hug you.
You will - in exactly 8 months! weeeee!
You know I understand and I’m so proud of you for posting this. IF you need anything at all, you know I’m always here for you!
<3
By sharing your story, you are helping and educating a lot of women, including myself. Thanks for your honesty. I just know that with the support of your husband and family, you’ll get through this - you’re a rockstar in more ways than one!
<3 you girl. Praying for you!
Wow, I bet your story really is helping other women with similar problems just by sharing it. I’m only 22 and am not having children anytime soon, but I’ve always wondered “what if?” I have fertility issues that aren’t showing up because I’m on birth control. I know a lot of women have problems after going off it, and I get scared for the future when I will want to have children. Good for you for doing something about it now!
I keep telling myself that this will make me appreciate having children SO much more and in turn will make me a better mother some day!
It’s true- it really will! You will be a great mom!
Thank you so much for sharing!!!! It means so much. I do have a 2 year old daughter, but I have only had my period 3x’s in the past 5 years (not at all in the past 2 years). We are TTC, but I know that it is not possible w/o getting my period. I was thinking of looking into accupuncture as well-so much for sharing your journey! I know its hard. I cry every time someone asks me when we are going to have another child.
You are not alone! And again thank you for sharing such a personal struggle-it makes me not feel so lonely anymore.
Please keep us updated on the accupuncture.
I appreciated this post. I went through fertility to get my two year old son. What I feel like helped me the most get pregnant and stay pregnant was an acupuncturist who specialized in fertility. I wish you the very best in your journey to get pregnant.
Thanks for the input Melanie - I’m glad you had a positive experience!
I understand exactly how you feel since I have been in those shoes. My infertility is classified as unknown, but it’s essentially due to a major ovarian cyst rupturing in my teens thus causing ovarian torques, loss of all but 1/2 an ovary, etc, etc… I did acupuncture for a year and then sucked it up and did the Meds. Omg. 7 yrs of shots, 6 failed ivf treatments…. I pray you do not have to go through any of it. Pure hell.
Oh Colleen, my heart breaks for you. Good thoughts and well wishes your way!
So brave for sharing.
Acupuncture itself is a neat treatment — I didn’t really consider it til I took an alternative health care class as an elective this year. I have been having it on my IT band for my running injuries and I’m not sure it’s a cure all BUT it is a complementary thing. I really hope it works for you.
I am really glad you posted this. I feel like I can relate so much — I am hypothyroid, haven’t had my period in ages (regardless of activity level, weight, or whatever else they might say is wrong) and I often wonder what will happen when I am older and ready to have a family. I miss my period and all the MRIs and ultrasounds coming back without any answers is good (relieving) but frustrating, so I feel your pain. I wish you the best of luck with this!
What good news that everything is coming back normal! After sharing this, I cannot believe everyone who said the exact same thing as you - hypothyroid, no period, no answer!
Hi Chelsey
I haven’t commented before but this post had me busting to reach out to you - for I have been in EXACTLY the same situation.
- went off birth control pills and did not get period for 1 year (was told this could be normal)
- when I still didn’t get my period, I started seeing specialists (full run of tests like yourself, MRI scans, repetitions of blood tests, saw endocrinologists/OBGYN and also went to a fertility clinic).
- no diagnosis (a relief and also an annoyance as you would have also experienced!)
- I also run, exercise frequently and am a slim build but not underweight and they assessed my eating habits and I was eating way more than the average person and an appropriate amount for my exercise diary
- I was told same as you, that for whatever reason (most likely related to exercise and body fat levels) my fertility hormones were just out of whack
- I was angry to hear this - after all there were many other girls who ate less/exercised more that had periods and fell pregnant
- about 6 months after I finished up with all these investigations, I went to the doctor worried I was pregnant (sore boobs). Pregnancy test was negative and a week later I GOT MY FIRST PERIOD (first period in almost 3 years!)
- at the time I didn’t consciously decrease exercise or increase food so that doesn’t really explain why I got it
Anyway, I have now been having regular periods and continue to exercise (maybe one less run a week and suplemented by one yoga/rest day/weights day and eat similarly. I cannot explain how it happened but I just want you to know that my situation sounds scarily similar and things sorted themselves out, just not in the timeframe that happens for most. I wish you luck with the acupuncture and I wonder now that you are doing more weights and less cardio that this might also help???
Keep smiling!
I’m hoping so! At least that’s my thought with the no cardio thing!
So glad your struggles worked themselves out - hoping I have a similar experience!
Good luck with everything! Your post was so honest and something thats more common than you think. A lot of fertility and “wpomen issues” are glazed over so its refreshing seeing such a true heartfelt post. I have not heard about accupucture as a fertility treatment but as a whole I have heard wonderful things about that treatment. I hope this kickstarts everything and allows for you to feem better physically and emotionally!
I am seeing even with all these comments just how common everything is. Wow! Absolutely heartbreaking!
Thank you for sharing your story with us! Too many people look down on Eastern medicine but it has had so many successes. I’m glad you’re trying it. I know you’ll get through this and you’ll be a great mama when you’re ready. Best of luck!
Thanks Lindsay!
I’m not looking to have children ANY time soon, but I worry all the time about having infertility problems (even though I have no reason to suspect that I will), but after reading this it was comforting to see that if that were the case I would have options and could get through it! I wish you the best of luck with this journey and I have a feeling that these Eastern medicine options will really help!
I think that a lot of women fear exactly what you fear - totally normal!
I really appreciate your honesty! I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!
The only thing I can say is that I hope that the acupuncture helps … or any other method you decide to use in order to help you along the process … the truth is that I am really sorry that you are going through this … I apologize … I know you did not want to hear it … but it is still amazing to me that you can actually feel close to people you have only met through a screen … and actually feel happy for them when they have accomplished even the smallest of things … or jot down a recipe, a workout or a great idea you wish to try out … so as you are a part of my daily read I wish you only the best … positive energy coming your way!
Thanks for the support - and I know exactly what you mean about “being close to people you have only met through a screen”!
Wow chelsey…that’s really putting yourself out there. I appreciate your story. A blog I read Codenamemama talks about her struggle to conceive her 2nd baby and her success with acupuncture. Though most of the blog is her giving natural and gentle parenting advice and adorable stuff with her first born. Love your attitude and I agree, it will all fall into place…eventually.
I’ll have to check her out!
This post is so honest and raw. I know this will help will many other woman and struggling. I’m glad you have such a strong support system in your husband and your mother.
Thanks Alyssa!
I think you’re wonderful!
I hope that acupuncture is successful for you. In my experience, infertility issues blow! I had very similar issues coming off birth control, and have warned all my friends (and my mom’s friends with daughters) to not go on the depo shot because of the havoc it reeked on my body. I know birth control isn’t evil, but I feel like the more I talk openly with friends and co-workers, the more I realize how many of us have had major issues after going off birth control (and no issues prior to going on!). Best of luck Chelsey!
I feel the same way you do - I don’t necessarily think that birth control is “evil”, but it sure as heck didn’t help me at all! It covered up a lot of issues I was having and would never have known about if I were to have stayed on it!
amazing post, chelsey. so proud of you for writing this — you are unbelievably strong and inspiring. can’t wait to chat more next weekend
Can’t wait to talk with you as well!
Saying a prayer for you, Chelsey. I just went off birth control and have some of the same worries. It’s so comforting to read this.
Wishing you all the best!
I JUST found out my sis in law is pregnant. She has one son already born via invitro…
She recently started using acupuncture and months later she I pregnant!
I am so excited for her, and she is a true believer in acupuncture! Sharing your story with her!
That’s amazing Andrea! Was she undergoing any other sort of fertility treatment or was she just using the acupuncture?
I don’t think so this time. They were saving up money to do invitro if needed (agian), but were just going to see if Acupuncture works.
I forwarded your story on to her - she will love it!
That is AMAZING!!!!
Chelsey, I’m extremely glad that you shared this. I’m 20 and I’m also currently infertile due to a missing period. I’ve done numerous blood tests and ultrasounds but so far everything has come back normal. It’s been missing since I was about 16 and until recently, I never really worried about it as I always figured it would sort itself out. I’m really interested to see how the acupuncture goes and I hope it works!
Hoping everything works out for you Ayla!
I’ve got my fingers crossed for you too, Chelsey! Here’s hoping for the best
Chelsey, an amazingly well-written post, and how brave of you to put it all out there. As a young woman of 26 also struggling with infertility I pray that acupuncture will help you!
Thank you Marijke! I’m so sorry you are going through some of the same struggles - best to you!
Thanks for sharing Chelsey! Although having a baby isn’t anywhere in my near future, I feel like I might struggle with a similar problem when the time comes - the only reason I’m getting my period right now is because of BC. I never even knew acupuncture could help, so thank you for opening my eyes to this! Good luck girl! I’m crossing my fingers for you and sending hope your way!
I’m so glad you decided to share this, Chelsey. It’s a side of you that I don’t think you show very often, and I think you’re really brave for doing so with this post. My fingers are crossed and my prayers are with you and the Husband. I’m hopeful with you!
Thanks Colleen.
Thanks for sharing, that takes a lot of courage. After years of infertility I still have a hard time talking about it because I don’t want to associated myself with that stigma. It is hard to even type the word! For me the biggest frustration is the not knowing. The ‘everything is ok, you hormones are just a bit off’, the one month being fine and the next not. I did have some luck with acupuncture and need to go back to it before we take the next step back onto the drugs (shudder!). Best of luck in your healing!
It is weird to type that word, right?
I will be thinking about you and your husband, Chelsey. It’s so strange, when we’re little, we think people “make babies” just like that, but the reality is, none of us really know if we’ll be able to conceive. I trust that God has plan for you, and hopefully acupuncture is the answer! My mom turned to acupuncture for other internal problems, and it’s really worked for her, so I definitely believe in the practice!
When I didn’t get my first period until just before my sixteenth birthday immediately after a minor car accident and then it disappeared again for six months, my mom took me to the doctor. I was diagnosed with PCOS and put on birth control to regulate my system. I knew at sixteen that it would be more difficult for me to get pregnant. Fast forward a few years…my husband and I had been married a couple of years, I wanted to see what life would be like without birth control…would I get a regular period? I didn’t have a chance to find out since I got pregnant right away! I did have some fertility issues with our third child. We had a miscarriage and then tried again. I am a mom to three beautiful, busy boys…something that I wasn’t sure would be possible without adoption. Now I’m considering adoption for a girl! I hope that the acupuncture helps!
Yay! What a happy story!
I think it is great that you are trying to go the route of Eastern medicine in place of drugs. Try to heal your body naturally and get it back to working order.
High five to your husband!
I can sympathize with you so much. I lost my period when I was 14 (after only having it regularly for 2 years!) when I developed my eating disorder. I’m 17 now… still no period. It makes me feel like a FAILURE in my recovery. I feel like I’m not really “better”, even though I eat plenty now… I always tell myself, like you, that I have “plenty of time” to fix this. I’m only 17, so I obviously don’t want my own kid yet… but what if this never gets fixed? I want to have a family someday, and I’m so scared that I just screwed up my whole life…
You’ll get there Marissa! Keep your spirits up!
As you can see by the many personal stories shared in response to your post, this is something women need to discuss. Thank you for opening up a forum (via your own story!) for this important, yet extremely intimate, discussion.
I am a firm believe in acupuncture. Worth.every.penny.
Good Luck!
Chelsea, Your honesty and openness is refreshing. Thank you for sharing with us. I am excited to follow your journey with you. Even though we are strangers, know you have my prayers and support.
My sister is also going through the heartbreak of infertility and I have suggested acupuncture to her, but she is skeptical. I am going to share this link with her in hopes that maybe your story will open her up to other options. Thank you.
Thanks for the kind words Megan and my thoughts are with your sister!
Waiting AND trusting God.
<3
Amen.
Thank you very much for sharing this so openly. I unfortunately fall into the group of women that you mention in the third-to-last paragraph, and I appreciate how respectful you are while still wanting to convey your feelings. I will be thinking good thoughts for you.
No pity or admiration, just hugs, healing energy, and gratitude.
“I’m young, I’m optimistic, and I know when the time is right, things will fall into place – even if it’s not on my watch or timing.” Just this sentence shows me that you will be okay in the end. Good luck with the acupuncture and I wish you the very best.
Wow, I feel like this is my story! I lost my periods four years ago. And just this past year was finally diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I’ve been checked out and nothing seems to be wrong with my physically, but basically every doctor I’ve seen has said every test comes back normal and I look fine. My husband and I have actually been trying to have a baby for five years now. I don’t know when or if it will happen, but I never even knew that acupuncture could help with this problem. Thank you so much for shining a light on a problem I’m sure many others have too.
If you just got diagnosed, don’t lose hope! Once your levels are normal, it’s very likely your monthly friend will return!
It’s been a few months, but I’m hoping it’ll work itself out soon. Because it’s definitely frustrating!
Chelsey, so glad you shared this. I am getting married this spring and can only hope that I don’t have any fertility troubles when the time comes to think about children. I have considered acupuncture for some of my other health issues. I’m very open to the idea, but have always worried about finding a good practitioner. Would you mind sharing how you found your acupuncturist? And any suggestions or tips for choosing someone, if you learned any. Thank you!
can’t wait to hear how its going to help you chelsey. and it makes me so happy that you are posting about it and sharing your story because you will reach out to so many other women who are going through the same struggles and looking for the best treatment. i think more people in our western world need to become aware about alternative medicine and how it really can help, without the use of crazy meds or doing unnecessary procedures. so, as a future acupuncturist, i thank you for bringing awareness to this amazing medicine!
Thank you for posting this. I dont usually comment on these things, I am not a blogger just your average girl. I am going to be 30 this year and about five years ago I decided I need to do something with myself I was 5 foot 3 and 200 pounds….I started eating better and I lost over 80 pounds….along with that I lost my period as well. At the time I didnt care, I was single and didnt see marriage or kids in my future. I have been on birth control since then but I know if i didnt I would not have a peroid. I recently got married four months ago…and now that I have a husband and a step daughter I too want to have a child with my husband as well. NOW I dont know what to do because its really my fault that I dont have a period anymore and I dont know how to feel about that anymore….
this helps!
Chelsey,
I’m sure others have posted this above…but I just wanted to let you know that I’m going through the SAME exact thing…no menstrual cycle (actually, I’ve NEVER had one on my own…only birth control induced), the whole rule-out tests of MRIs (yup, pituitary tumor check-off…if that isn’t enough to scare you!), hormone tests and retests, etc. My Endocrinologist said the same thing…”We have no idea why…but your brain just isn’t producing enough FSH to stimulate the rest of the menstruation cycle to occur”. Great. Tell me what to do to make that happen! No luck.
Anyway, thank you for posting this. So very much. I’ve looked on so many random blogs and online posts of women in similar situations….but to hear from someone I’ve been following for awhile, it’s kind of crazy!
Good luck and definitely keep us updated.
I know there isn’t much that can be said now - but thanks for sharing
After miscarrying my first baby, I saw an acupunturist. I got pregnant again a few months later and continued with the acupuncture until I was in my 2nd trimester and felt “safe.” It was a wonderful experience and the doctor told me how successful he’d been with woman undergoing IVF or other reproductive issues. I really hope it works for you!
The questions about when you’re going to have a baby, while usually well-intentioned, can be hurtful. Someone asked me that just a few weeks after I’d lost our baby, and five years later I’m tearing up again because it was such a painful question to hear. People just don’t think sometimes.
I have been reading your blog for a while and enjoying many of your recipes. I am sure you are hearing from many readers/supporters about their experiences. My husband and I went through a long fertility process. We tried both traditional and alternative approaches. We were very fortunate after a few years, we are now blessed with an amazing, beautiful baby girl. I have read that Royal Jelly has been used as a fertility treatment, just a spoonful (easy and yummy).
Best of luck, you are in my prayers
i’m rather behind on my blog reading, so i apologise for just now seeing this. you’re such a beautiful girl, and i hope that you can live your hopes of birthing a child. i also have not menstruated for a long time, but that is because long ago, i threw my body into pre-menopause because of my bulimia. you’re not alone, and i am thinking of you, understanding your feelings very much, hoping for success with your acupuncture treatments. but just remember, you’re already a very good mom. charlie loves you.
x
just want to followup on my first comment.
you might find this article about acupuncture as one of hope.
this is from one of my favourite bloggers.
and it’s about her sweet dog and acupuncture.
memories of simone.
Hi Chelsea - Sorry if I’m late on this but just read it and wanted to add (like many others) that I’m in the same boat! I’ve had irregular periods for as long as I can remember and a couple years ago (I’m 24 too!), they just stopped. Recently I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor put me on Ralovera to induce a period - you take it for 2 weeks at a time and it works brilliantly, but I know it’s only a temporary solution. Nevertheless it was actually exciting to get a period! I’m also on metmorphin, a med for diabetics, because the doctor thought it might have something to due with my blood sugar imbalances - we’ll see. Anyway just thought I’d put that out there
I should mention I’m living in Australia at the moment so the meds might be called something different there, but I’m sure you could find them !
Thank you for sharing, Chelsey. It really helps to hear stories that obviously many women can relate to! I also have struggled with getting my period back. It started disappearing about 4 years ago and I’ve only had it a handful of times since then. I’ve tried many different things as well…including gaining a pretty good amount of weight, taking some difference medicines and whatnot. I recently had my period 2 months in a row, after starting a new medication, but then I didn’t have it in January
It’s really disappointing. But I know that hormones take awhile to level out so I’m giving it a few more months. I will be really curious to see how the acupuncture works for you.
And I know I’m not supposed to say it, but you really are brave and strong to go through all of this and post about it! It’s much appreciated among the other women, like me, who also struggle with infertility. Praying for you, just as I pray for my own period to return (almost daily)!!!
Chelsea thank you so much for sharing your story with everyone. Putting yourself out there can make you feel vulnerable, but there is no need. It is obvious how much love and support you have. I myself am struggling with these same issues. It’s been 4 years since I’ve had a period and despite everything I do it just doesn’t come back. I’m making it my mission this year for it to return. I hope your journey through acupuncture proves effective and my thoughts and prayers are with you x
How did I miss this post?! I am in a very similar situation as you… I have not had any cycle in 16 months but have only just started working with my doctor on it. Blood tests and ultrasounds are all great so now we move onto a progesterone treatment. I am starting this this weekend and crossing my fingers. I have also looked into acupuncture as a treatment and have only heard awesome things about the results. I have my fingers crossed for you!
I suggest you increase your body fat. Your body needs a certain amount of fat to be able to function normally. Don’t listen to optimal percentages or BMI charts… everyone is different. When you were a heavier weight (+10lb), did you have the same problem? I would ask myself that first, because that is one of the easier options. The idea is that menstration ceases when the body can no longer support a second person (baby) in addition to itself. There are millions of reasons, of course, but this is one of the simpler solutions. I hope you find answers soon!
Seriously, props to you for putting this out there. My husband and I have been actively trying since 2003- without success. At this point, my age indicates it won’t happen for us. Its a harsh reality, and I can totally empathize with how you feel when people make seemingly innocent comments. Kudos to you for realizing something wasn’t right and seeking treatment while you’re still young and have time to hopefully fix things! Best wishes and feel free to email me if you want to chat or need someone to bounce ideas/feelings off of.
I have a friend whose parents are Chinese acupuncturists! Have a nice weekend.
Hi Chelsey! Thanks for sharing this story. I know it probably feels like you were really putting yourself out there with posting it, but it was wonderful to read. And good for you for taking steps and being so brave. I love your blog and will be keeping you in my thoughts!
hi chelsey — i’m super late on this, but wanted to just add some of my experiences. i had hypothalamic amenorrhea (the technical term for when your brain doesn’t want to make those hormones to get your ovaries in gear) and after 2.5 years of frustration am now almost 33 weeks pregnant. i also work in pediatric endocrinology and have done a good amount of research into this. you can see a summary on this post: http://www.theshubox.com/2011/12/hypothalamic-amenorrhea.html
i think that reducing running could be really great for you, so i think your current fitness plans are great, and the acupuncture is a wonderful idea as well. i think that sometimes a little bit of weight gain can also help in these situations [yes, even if you're already at a healthy bmi] although i completely understand it can be hard to accept that [it was for me]. finally, i applaud you for starting to work on this early! i wish i had been more proactive sooner. thankfully it all worked out in the end — and i bet it will for you, too!
oh, and fertility meds aren’t the end of the world — i ended up taking a small dose of letrozole to help with ovulation and would do it again in a heartbeat
Thank you thank you for this Sarah. Last night the Husband and I were just talking about how my attitude towards working out/running has completely shifted in the last month or so - mainly because “it’s not about me” anymore. I’m definitely okay with putting on a few pounds if the end result is a baby! Running will always be there, right?
I am definitely not opposed to taking meds either - my doctor and I discussed how I might need to take them along with the acupuncture treatments down the line, and I’m more than okay with that!
My husband and I had a whole slew of fertility issues that we discovered in our mid-twenties. While I’ve always gotten my period, I don’t always ovulate. Acupuncture definitely helped make my cycles more regular (much more so than clomid or any of the other fertility treatments we tried). I ultimately ended up getting pregnant the old fashioned way (totally randomly, after 2 years of “trying”), but I’d like to think the acupuncture played a role in that!
So glad your story has a happy ending! I’ve already begun to see the benefits of acupuncture actually - a lot to do with my mood/emotions and my BBT has been much more steady instead of all over the place before. I’m already a believer!
I hope it works for you!
Chelsea, thank you very much for sharing. My friend works as a fertility acupuncturist, and I’ve been doing a lot of reading on it. Animal fat and full-fat dairy is her mantra, plus sleep and no running. I am not offering any advice to you - I’m not an advice giver - but I thought I’d relay what she told me. Good luck, good luck, good luck. I just ordered two books on it - Natural Choices for Women’s Health and Regulating Hormones Naturally.
I’ve got my fingers crossed for you too! Please keep us updated.
And, thank you for sharing!
Chelsey,
My guess, like SHU, is that you have hypothalamic amenorrhea. There are many of us out there. I had an eating disorder for a year and overexercised for years following. The last natural period I remember was Spring of 2007. I went off birth control last April and it took me 3 rounds of meds and 8 months to ovulate for the first time. That was after I pretty much gave up exercise besides yoga and walking. My advice for you would be to CUT BACK your exercise. I was reading your recent Live Fit Week 5 summary, and I honestly think that is WAY too much exercise. It sounds a lot like what I was doing up until October when I got honest with myself about how much I was working out. I cut back to 4x/week of yoga with a little walking and ovulated (with Clomid) 2 months later. My body simply needed time to rest after working it so hard for about 5-6 years. A lot of us have been able to increase exercise a little after giving our bodies adequate rest, but that rest time is key to getting your body to trust you again. MANY doctors don’t even understand this, but there is a huge group of us at http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/lifes-journey/343535-hypothalamic-amenorrhea-5134.html that will confirm that exercise can play a huge role in recovering from HA. I think you should stop over there and share your story. There are SO many girls there who have been successful both with and without meds after lifestyle changes. It was joining that board that convinced me to change my behavior and put baby making as my priority instead of myself. Hope this info helps!!! Seriously, don’t be afraid to stop over at the forum!
Thanks so much Carly. I just registered for the forum and will be sharing soon. It looks like it will help a LOT. I’m going to take your advice and consider stopping the program and just do yoga/light walking for a while. I don’t want to prolong anything more than it needs to!
First-time commenter, but I’ve read your blog for awhile now and really love it!
This post makes me very, very happy for you! (And gives me hope.) I did have 2 questions, and please feel free not to answer if they’re too invasive; I only ask because I am going through the same exact thing as you were: How long did you go without a period? About how much weight did you need to gain? (not an exact number, but maybe a roundabout - 5 lbs, 15 lbs)? I feel like this may be something I need to research more for myself… Thanks!
Hi Kate - I will definitely answer those questions! I went two years without one after I went off of birth control. I had to gain about 10 pounds, but it is SO highly individualized that it doesn’t mean what worked for me will work for someone else.
I totally understand where you are coming from. I didn’t get my period for 2 years and it finally came back naturally (somehow, no idea why) a few months ago. I didn’t have too low of body fat, I had normal level of hormones, I took an ultrasound and everything was normal. The doctor gave me the 10 day hormone, that didn’t “jump start” my period, but somehow it came back. I’m not trying to have kids, but I know how you feel; it’s a scary thing.
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