I frequently receive emails from women who have just found out they are having twins - and they are pining for information about a twin pregnancy and raising twins. I have to say, I did the exact same thing. When I found out I was expecting twins, I scoured every single resource I possibly could to help me figure out how I could do this whole multiples thing. The pregnancy I could handle - but after pregnancy comes babies… how the heck was I supposed to handle two at once?
Over the course of the past 17 months, I have had some time to figure out how to (and NOT to) handle twins. Am I an expert? Absolutely not. I’m just a mama, trying to figure it out one day at a time. I make mistakes, I get frustrated, and I don’t have all the answers. Keep in mind that I am answering these questions with our experiences at hand – my experience is only one of millions!
Without further adieu, here are eight questions I frequently receive about twins!
How am I going to do it?
Believe me, you just will. The first few weeks/months may not be pretty. You’ll be tired. You’ll be exhausted, actually, but it is so so worth it. Somehow you were chosen to be a mama of multiples - a gift that not all get to experience - so take it in stride. It’s the BEST ride ever. You will find what works for your family, what doesn’t work for your family, and you’ll have a system down pat after a few weeks/months.
Do you recommend a schedule?
YES YES YES! I could not have done anything (or still could not do anything) without a schedule. Some people don’t do well with schedules, and I totally respect that. However, I can’t function without them. When the girls were born, the NICU got them on a 3 hour schedule. At first it was an eat/sleep schedule. Over time, the schedule became an eat/play/sleep schedule. At the end of the three hours (give or take a few minutes), the girls would wake up and eat again to start it all over. If they didn’t wake up? I would wake them up. I know, I know - never wake a sleeping baby. However, I could not follow this rule. If one of the girls was off of the schedule by even 15-20 minutes, it would throw our entire rhythm for the whole day. I got a lot of flak about this from family members who felt it was horrible I would wake one baby up or wake them both up when it was time for their next feeding. It worked for us, and it definitely helped the girls sleep in longer stretches at night as well as not confuse days and nights.
What type of system did you use for feeding?
At first it was difficult if I was at home by myself. They were so tiny, and I did a lot of trial and error to figure out what worked best for us. For the first few weeks if I was at home by myself, I would feed them one at a time (they never nursed - they always drank breast milk/formula from bottles) and then went to the next one. At first it would take about a half hour to feed the both of them. I would either take the one that seemed the most hungry or the one who woke up a little early from their nap. I also would schedule visitors to come over around feeding times, which REALLY helped in the first month or so. An extra set of hands was so wonderful, and I always appreciated visitors willingness to jump in and help. For the first two months, my mom would typically come over around feeding times as well. At that time, my sister and her family only lived about a mile down the road, and my mom watched Aubrey at her house every day. It was easy for them to drop by during the day to help.
Remember when my mom broke both of her wrists? That kind of changed everything. Suddenly, I was on my own for the entire day, and I was pleasantly surprised that I could handle feedings and day to day activities all by myself, albeit a change for us. At that time, the girls were almost two months old. I would prop them up in a Boppy pillow or feed them in their Rock ‘n Play sleepers. Feed both, burp one, burp the other, feed more, burp one, burp the other. This typically only took about 15-20 minutes from start to finish because I could feed them both at the same time.
During the night, we tag teamed the girls. I could NOT have done night feeding by myself if it weren’t for John. He was so helpful (and obviously continues to be helpful) with the girls. He got up every single feeding with me even though he was working 12-13 hour days every single day (the girls were born during his busy season). I tried to do it all myself the first night they were home, and I failed miserably. Even though some nights were long, and I can’t say we were always particularly pleasant with each other at 3 AM, we always made it work.
How did you get out the door with two?
A LOT of planning. I swear, my life was scheduled in 3 hour increments for months and months. I would try to schedule to leave the house right after feedings. That way, I would have about 2.5 hours until they would need to eat again. Most of the time, I would be back from running errands by that time. If we had to leave for longer periods of time, I would pack bottles for the girls in a cooler and take them out about an hour or so before they would have to feed so they would be at room temperature. It took a while to get the hang of everything I needed for a typical day on the go, but lists and writing everything down helped tremendously.
I made it our "normal" to be out and about. I was never one that stayed at home with the girls for the first x amount of weeks/months - they were healthy, it wasn’t flu season, and I kept them to myself (didn’t allow strangers to touch them). I wanted to get into the routine of us being out and still living life instead of being strapped to being at home!
Did you ever go anywhere by yourself with the girls?
It took me a LONG time to get comfortable enough to travel anywhere by myself with the girls. I’m pretty sure our first outing completely solo was to Target when they were about 2 months old. If I was by myself, I absolutely needed to bring along our Snap n Go double stroller frame. It was a LIFE SAVER for the entire time the girls were in their infant bucket seats. If I needed to do something like grocery shopping/running multiple errands, I would always bring along a helper. I absolutely needed the help at first (especially if the girls would need to eat while we were out), but as they got older, it got easier and easier.
What were some must-have items that you couldn’t live without?
I actually wrote a post when the girls were younger all about must have items. You can find it here. If I had to add to that list, I would add the following:
- Fisher Price My Little Snuggabunny Swing
- Sleep Sheep Sound Machine (we still use this every nap/bedtime)
- Wubbanubs
- A ton of burp cloths and bibs – my favorite burp cloths were made for us by John’s cousin!
Should the babies sleep together? Apart? Same room? Separate rooms?
That is completely up to you and your family. You have to figure out what works for you. When the girls came home from the hospital, they slept together for about two weeks. However, Emerson figured out how to move herself around and push herself off of Brooklyn, and she would end up either on her stomach (swaddled) or kicking Brooklyn in the face. After that, we separated them. At first, one of the girls would sleep in a Rock n Play and the other would sleep in the pack n play. However, after a few weeks, we caved and purchased a second Rock n Play. They slept in those at night for about 3.5 months. They were life savers, that’s for sure! I kind of wish they were the type of twins that were able to sleep with one another and cuddle, but it just didn’t end up that way. The girls have always slept in the same room, although I wish I could have them sleeping in different room some nights when they aren’t sleeping well. However, due to lack of space, we have had to keep them together. They have learned to roll with it though, and if one of them wakes up in the middle of the night, it is now typically white noise to the other one.
What can I expect from other people?
A LOT of attention!
I have come to realize that when we’re out and about, errands are going to take much much longer than they used to. Not only because I have two babies to cart around, but because everyone and their brother wants to tell me about their best friend’s cousin’s ex husband’s daughter’s who has twins. 😉 Truth be told, I don’t mind it at all… except for this one time when this crazy couple started taking pictures of them and wanted to hold them. Ummm, no. You may not touch my babies.
You can expect people to be very interested and curious. I even find myself asking "are they twins?" to people when I’m out and about. Cue hand slap to forehead. You’ll get a lot of "double trouble" or "oh my, you’re busy" comments to which I always respond positively to and joke back. People also want to peg who is the "trouble maker" for some reason… and poor Brooklyn always gets picked. ;) There have only been a handful of times where people have said something negative - something to the accord of "what did you do to deserve that?". Ugh, I cringed - and I hope after the man said that he realized how dumb he sounded. Twins are a BLESSING, so much fun, and worth it.
When it comes down to it – some days are hard. Some days make me want to tear my hair out. But at the end of it, I have to laugh, put on my positive pants, and just have a good perspective. My life is so super fun with these girls, and I couldn’t have it any other way!
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