Hey there guys, I am Ali from the Little Miss Poof blog. I am so excited to be here on Clean Eating Chelsey today. Chelsey was kind enough to let me drop by for a day and guest blog for her. Now to be honest, I am a brand spankin’ new blogger – I have about a month under my belt here. I am working so hard to get Little Miss Poof a great start. A very very quick snippet about me – I am a wife, mommy of two (Jackson 2 & Lydia 9 months), a former third grade teacher turned stay at home mom and a new mommy blogger. I love the blogging journey so far and I cannot wait to see where it takes me.
My husband Ross and I were married in 2010, and in September of 2012 we had our first baby, Jackson. It was beautiful and wonderful. I remember taking him home and soaking up every little sound, cry, movement and snuggle. Ross took a week off of work to be home with us while I recovered, but after that it was just Jackson and I. On my maternity leave, I pretty much was a mommy milk machine and a comfy place to nap. I remember holding him while he slept and thinking about how perfect he was and how blessed we were to have him. It was Jackson and I for 11 weeks, and I loved every minute of it.
Flash forward and few months and I became pregnant with Lydia. The pregnancy went well and we had Lydia April of 2014. A sweet baby girl. We were smitten and so excited to have a boy and a girl. And the journey of two began.
If I were to say that jumping into two babies 18 months apart was a breeze, I would be lying. What I remember first is Jackson being confused. He didn’t know what was going on when we brought Lydia home. He kept saying “ach” – like gross – seriously that’s what he kept saying. That was his version of “I don’t like this”. I was sad and wanted him to feel okay about his baby sister. Ross and I talked to him about her before she came, and talked a lot about how he would be a perfect big brother. I thought we prepared him. But I don’t think there is much you can do for an 18 month old who is just beginning to understand things. His world was rocked.
Struggle #1 – Toddler Transition to new baby
The first two weeks were a struggle for Jackson. He was so used to being an only child and Lydia required a lot of attention. Remember when I said that I was able to hold Jackson as a baby while he napped and spent all my maternity leave looking into his sweet eyes. Yeah that didn’t happen with Lydia.
Jackson saw that my attention was fully on Lydia and he either wanted to interrupt that or act out. It was a battle that went on strong for about two weeks and then I started to see some improvement. But those first two weeks felt like two years. 18 months is a hard age in general. They are beginning to really explore, they don’t know what is dangerous, they are beginning to understand things better and the defiance is creeping in. Introduce infant, and wham bam it’s a mad house.
We ended up getting the hang of it after a few weeks and Jackson really began warming up to Lydia. He started giving her kisses because he saw me constantly kissing her. He saw how much we loved her and he started loving her too. It was heart warming and comforting to watch him grow to love his baby sister. If your toddler is struggling with the transition try not to push it. Give it time, it might take a few weeks but they have their own adjustment period.
Struggle #2 – Nursing with a toddler
Nursing and having an infant was the biggest struggle I had at first. The only thing that worked was putting on a Baby Einstein while I fed her. If you know anything about nursing a newborn, you know they eat about every two hours. I lived with Baby Einstein on. If you are having the same struggle, I would really encourage you to not sweat having the TV on or giving your child an iPad while you nurse. It was something that bothered me, but looking back, it made it so much more difficult for me worrying about those things. Those precious moments with your newborn don’t last long, give yourself some slack and find something to occupy your toddler for a bit while you nurse/feed your baby.
When it was time to feed her, my time was spent half feeding her and half chasing Jackson around. Baby Einstein could only hold him for so long. He knew that me feeding Lydia = a free pass {somewhat}. One time when I was feeding Lydia he climbed on top of a kitchen chair and was pushing our light fixture above the table. True story.
Nursing with a toddler is difficult, but I would encourage you to not give up if it is something that is important to you. It is difficult for the first few months, but if you commit yourself to it and find creative ways to engage your toddler during the time you are feeding then you can do it! I promise! Ugh, I do remember how hard it was, so if you are in the middle of it now, I feel for you. I am at 9 months now and I feel like I made it. It’s possible fellow mommies!!
Struggle #3 – Balancing their individual mommy time
What was really important to me from the get go was giving both of the kids their special time from me. While Lydia napped during the day I would lay her in her crib {instead of holding her, which at first killed me} and Jackson and I would read his favorite books and I would play his toys with him. I made sure my phone was not by me and the TV was off – he was my main focus, and I wanted to get down on his level. Then at night when my husband would get home, I would take Lydia upstairs and feed her in a quiet room {something she never experienced during the day} and lay with her. I am excited for the future mommy dates I am going to have with my babies, but for now we get to have little moments at home together one on one! If this is something that you struggled with and developed some great ideas for, please share!! I would love some creative ideas for mommy and me time!
Struggle #4 – Accomplishing Bed Times by myself
My husband works long hours so unfortunately there are times when he doesn’t get home in time for bed times. I am not the type to keep my kids up to see daddy or anyone for that matter. I feel it is so important that they get to bed on time, stay on schedule and develop healthy sleep habits. So for those times when daddy wasn’t home, I had to figure out bed times for both of them.
In the beginning, Lydia went to bed much later than Jackson, around 10 p.m. until she was about 8 weeks old. That was a piece of cake because I would just lay Lydia in her crib or in her rock n’ play and do Jackson’s bedtime routine. His routine takes about 10 minutes I would say so it was no big deal, and then I would be with Lydia for a few hours and get her to bed. However, when we started moving Lydia’s bed time up it got hard.
Depending on the day, Lydia would sometimes need to go to bed before Jackson. The struggle was what to do with Jackson while I got Lydia asleep if daddy wasn’t home. She got used to nursing in the quiet and being laid down in a quiet darkened room, and having Jackson in there just wasn’t going to work. I would stress out about it and get frazzled. I tried putting him in his crib with the lights on and some toys, but he went hysterical. Lydia would be screaming because she was tired. Eventually I gave him the iPad and had him sit right outside the door for just a few minutes while I got her settled for sleep. It isn’t a perfect method because he sometimes walks in, even still, but it’s the best I have so far. Suggestions?? Anyone??
Well friends, I would have to say that these were my top struggles. All major changes in life are an adjustment, and just like everything else we eventually figured it out. But man was it tough trying to balance it all. If you are in the thick of it all right now, I wish you patience and creativity! Both your little ones are at such different stages, but both still require mommy for everything. From diaper changes, to feedings, to bed times, bath time and play time, both kids require YOU! You are the one they need mommy, and as tough as it is, I would encourage you to see it as a blessing. Believe me, I know that’s not always easy, but this time is brief and so are the struggles!
Thanks for letting me stop by here on Clean Eating Chelsey! I appreciate any support you can give! Find me at Little Miss Poof blog!
Blessings,
Ali
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