the reason the Husband will never leave me

There are those moments in every wife’s life where she may wonder if her husband will love her forever. Or, if you are anything like me, you may wonder if your husband will put up with you forever. I can tell you I certainly know my husband will never leave me.

I have a secret weapon.

It is a powerful tool for every wife to have.

However, there are many reasons why my husband could consider hitting the road. Let us examine some evidence:

1. The motto in our home (at least in my mind) is “Happy wife, happy life”. No explanation is needed with this one. What man wants to follow this rule? No man does.

2. The Husband may be questioning my love for him as my pumpkin infatuation has gotten more serious throughout this fall season. In fact, I firmly believe 95% of all food bloggers will be found in pumpkin rehab next spring. We better book our rooms now.

3. If the Husband ever finds out about the daily flax incident, there could be reason for discussion.

4. In the last two weeks, I have had approximately 3 baking flops — all with baking bread… in a bread machine. All three times my loaf did not rise. All three times the Husband was required to eat the bread — without complaining.

5. We have a house rule that whoever gets out of bed last makes the bed. Almost all of the time, the Husband is last to rise. Sometimes the Husband doesn’t make the bed. Unfortunately for him, I have a thing about getting into an unmade bed. I am a stickler on rules (hello, teacher.) — many times the Husband makes the bed at 9 p.m. — and not because he wants to.

6. Meat Slop. Enough said.

7. My mom taught me the art of guilt tripping. While it may not work on my father, it sure does work on the Husband. Whether it genuinely works or the Husband just wants to shut me up is a different story.

8. The husband hates sweet potatoes. Guess what was for dinner tonight?

As you can see, there are many reasons why my Husband could be willing tempted to leave me at some point in our life. Perhaps because it will probably only get worse.

I hold the key to any successful marriage though.

It’s all about the cookies. And no, these are not vegan and gluten free babies. We’re talking white sugar, 1 cup of butter, chocolate chips and my Kitchen Aid mixer workin’ hard for the money every week (or more).

These cookies set my Husband into a coma every night. The success they keep continuing to bring to my marriage is unbelievable.

I’m hoping one day the Husband will consume enough of said cookies to take me on a shopping spree, a Jamaican vacation, and perhaps buy me a DSLR.

Cross your fingers for me, but I think I’m going to have to double up on the chocolate chips for the last one.

Question: Do you have a “secret weapon”? (For ANYONE, not just husbands!)

Tagged as: husbands and wives, reasons why a husband could leave you, secret weapon