I’m always looking for new ways to convince myself I’m dying. No, seriously.
I’m pretty sure I am a hypochondriac (I thought my sister would be the only one, but no.) and I am always POSITIVE there is something wrong with me.
Headache? I must have a brain tumor.
Chest pain? Heart attack! Someone grab the Bayer.
Tightness in calf? Blood clot — let’s do a cat scan. (that’s definitely true — and no, I did not have a blood clot.)
Which brings me to my next culprit.
Beets.
Tonight for dinner, I made Angela’s Spinach Garlic Pumpkin Potatoes.
However, I didn’t have spinach. But I did have a lot of beet greens! Which, by the way, I never knew you could use these like spinach or kale until today.
The verdict? They are incredible. I think I ate three servings of them. Definitely a winner in my book.
I also had the largest beet known to mankind. I roasted this bad boy in foil at 425 for about an hour (his buddy was in the oven too — I’m saving him for later).
When he came out? Juicy, colorful, tender — delicious.
I spent a good ten minutes trying to convince the Husband to try a bite, and near the end he was very annoyed with me. I tried to tell him he didn’t know what he was missing out on, but he didn’t believe me.
Which brings me to why I thought I was dying.
I went to the bathroom about 10 minutes ago.
My pee was orange.
ORANGE!
Am I supposed to have orange pee? Could it be I have blood in my urine? Is m liver failing?
With my heart beating out of my chest, I googled “orange urine” — yes, I totally did.
Turns out a large amount of beta careen or eating a lot of beets can turn your pee an orange/reddish tint.
I’m ridiculous.
Question: Have you ever “thought you were dying”?
PS — The greek yogurt went over okay. I think.
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Oh, just wait until you have to do something other than PEE after you eat beets. You will TOTALLY think you are dying!
AHAHAHA!
It’s true, that totally happened to me a couple months ago. I ate a ton of beets and the next day when I went pee it was a weird pinky colour. I was totally freaked and embarrassed, but I finally told my mother as I was a little worried…low and behold she reassured me that she has the same problem as a result of the beets…Phew!
Oh yes… there was definitely still some proof this morning.
You are too cute, girl
I say stay away from WebMD at all costs. I always get myself all panicked whenever I have the slightest new symptom (of anything).
Random story: Have you ever heard of black tongue? Well if you are dehydated and take a medicine like pepto there is a phenomenon where your tongue turns BLACK! Well one morning I woke up to brush my teeth and almost fainted when I noticed my tongue was the color of tar!!!! haha
oh my goodness! I have never heard about that one!
I am still trying to figure out how I ended up with not one but two hypochondriac daughters. Must be on the Wirta side.:)
and one who posts it for all the world to see on the internet. You poor mother.
Bahahahaha!!!! You’re TOO funny!!! Hahaha!
So crazy! I never knew that. I also have never roasted a beet, hmm I might have to try that. I hate how asparagus makes pee smell, ughhH!
The asparagus thing only happens to some people - I’m one of them!
I have never had cooked beets, but I love juicing them with carrots, celery, and lots of other fruits!
I will have to try baking them for sure now!
Billy calls me dramatic all of the time. One time I ate too many veggies and it made my tummy hurt but I was SURE it was appendicitis.
At least you know we are both ridiculous!
Can I just thank you for always making me laugh!
You’re welcome.
Orange pee?? I would have been scared too! And those potatoes look great. Believe it or not, I’ve never had a beet… but this post just convinced me to try one!
Just remember - orange/reddish pee is normal.
I’m pretty sure this same thing happened to me, but my beets waited til the morning to show up…and I’m talking RED. I knew it was no girlie problems and did exactly what you did…googled. Luckily the hubby spoke up and said his pee was off too…way to not say anything in the beginning, hubby haha!
After I google searched, I told the Husband - so he’ll be aware this morning!
I’ve had the same thing happen to me too, but also just from large amounts of beet greens. They remind me a lot of swiss chard - goes great with eggs!
im such a hypochondriac too.. its pretty bad… If i read about something and I have one out of the million symptoms… I think i have it!
ahaha…at first, I was puzzled as to how on earth eating a beet was close to being a hypochondriac. And then I thought to myself “OH! I think beets are a food that turn your pee red!” I guess I was on the right track, but red would have been a bit more dramatic, don’t you think?!
Explained why I kept burping, too - I don’t burp! Must have been something I ate 
I sort of come to the conclusion I’ve got the plague whenever I feel funky, too. Or a heart attack…a couple weeks ago, I kept having this weird pain in my chest, off to the left. Turns out your digestive tract makes a sharp turn there, and people often have pain there in form of indigestion, not heart failure
Hahaha! I’ve actually never had my pee turn colour from eating beets, but I think it would scare the crap out of me too if it did!
I’ve thought I was dying a few times whenever I consume products that I think could possibly have been contaminated with nuts. I convince myself that my heart is speeding up and my lungs are closing in. Usually I’m fine though… except for a few times, lol.
LOLOLOLOLOL
This post cracked me up!! And I’m a total hypochondriac as well. At my tennis region match in high school, I drank a TON of blue koolaid throughout the day (way to hydrate, right?) and the next day, my pee was GREEN. Like, fluorescent green. Scared the crap out of me until my mom told me the likely reason why.
oh my goodness - I would freak out about blue pee mroe than red pee. wait, I don’t know. Maybe not.
All the time. Ha.
Ahahahaa… nice.
You’re just the opposite of me. I haven’t been to the doctor in god knows how long. My brother on the other hand? He’s there at least once a month…
hahahaha oh chelsey i had the EXACT same experience and freaked out!! i was like MOM, WHY IS MY PEE ORANGE/REDDISH!? and it was because i had eaten like 4 servings of beets right before that! funny stuff. i need to try beet greens! i just throw them out usually! what a waste!
we had hypochondriac as a vocab word!!so i know what that means!
we eat beet greens…constantly trimming our beet plants outside to use them to eat. once i was having chest pain before bed and i thought i was going to die and not wake up.
When I saw this post title I was scared you were dying from eating greek yogurt!! This is hysterical and I don’t blame you for freaking out.
I once dry swallowed a pill and it bruised my esophagus and I walked around for days saying I had a pill stuck in my throat. It really was so painful though!
haha - I knew someone might think that about the greek yogurt.
That pill story does not sound fun!
Haha that’s so funny- I’m glad you’re not dying!
Hahaha! This is the funniest post, and that looks freaking delicious.
And yes, yes I have. When I was little I actually was a hypocondriac- which is why my parents dreaded the disease unit in Health class.
My stomach hurts. I HAVE A HERNIA.
My head hurts. TUMOR.
My arm hurts. MY VEINS ARE GOING TO EXPLODE.
Ohyeah, I liked to make up diseases too.
LOL too funny! I absolutely love beet greens!! They are prob one of my favorite greens! I definitely have to try those potatoes! They look DELICIOUS!
Hahahaha oh my gosh I literally laughed out loud. And I’m glad I’m not the only person who googles every “illness” that may come up. Haha I’m glad you’re not dying
me too - for a second there I had heart palpatations!
That’s so funny. I do that all the time. I get migraines with auras, which means I basically lose peripheral vision, only see wavy lines and lose feeling on my left side while I’m having the migraine. Every time this happens I’m convinced I’m having a stroke.
Oh my gosh, I’m SO glad I’m not the only one out there! I always think if I have a headache I have a brain tumor. And yes, I thought I was dying many times. I had sharp pain once going from my hip to my neck and thought I was having a heart attack. Went to the ER only to find out it was IBS. And I once thought I had colon cancer and convinced my doctor to give me a colonoscopy (at 23). I have to do MANY calming exercises daily to calm my mind of these thoughts. Yoga helps very well! And I also try hard not to Google “symptoms of…” anymore.
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