They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.
As heart wrenching as it may be, I have decided to come to terms with the fact that I need an intervention.
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I have tried to stop myself, but my self control is waning. There’s just something about sweet and salty flavors coming together and creating an explosion in my mouth that I just can’t say no to.
Thankfully, growing up — I could say no to a lot of different things. I wasn’t one to crack under the pressure of peers. While I didn’t always make the best choices, I was able to say no to drugs, smoking, and boys. This is the part where my mom finally breathes a sigh of relief after a long and hard past ten years of my life. Raising three teenagers is no easy feat people.
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I’ll tell you what I don’t need an intervention from. Camping. I think we all can recall when I told you about my only two camping experiences. I don’t think I will even ever make it at Disney’s Wilderness Lodge. The word “wilderness” gives me the willies. While this granola makes me think of camping, there is no way I am getting down and dirty with nature. Thinking about pitching a tent and peeing in the woods is more punishment than I deserve for loving granola.
I’ll gladly eat food that one would eat while camping though — foods such as trail mix.
That’s where the intervention comes in.
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Hi, my name is Chelsey, and I am addicted to granola.
I don’t know when it started or how it all began. One day, I was a muffin loving fool. Muffins made their way into my nightly cereal snack, and I was satisfied beyond belief. One day, I woke up, and I was a granola fiend - just waiting for my next fix. Sometimes, one bowl isn’t enough. A handful here, a sprinkle there — the granola just never stops.
I’ve had many dealers along the way. Udi, Jessica, and Love Grown have all fed my addiction too, while others have just sat back and watched me destroy myself one bowl at a time.
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Bad things happen when I don’t eat granola every day. I think they call this withdrawals. I just never thought the physical symptoms would happen to me. I get cranky, I get shaky, and I start imagining the Husband’s head in the shape in the form of a granola cluster. That’s what I like to call hallucinations. It wouldn’t be that big of a deal — if only I didn’t try to bite his ear that one day. ::sigh::
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Does granola rehab even exist? I mean, I know there’s peanut butter rehab — they make medication for that problem. It comes in the form of PB2 and peanut flour. But what about granola? I feel like the minority here people. I don’t like it one bit.
- 2 and 1/4 cups gluten free oats
- 1/4 cup raw sunflower seeds
- 1/4 cup raw pumpkin seeds
- 1/2 cups raw almonds, roughly chopped
- 1/2 cup dried cranberries
- 1/2 cup non-dairy chocolate chunks
- 1/4 tsp. salt
- 1 tbsp. cinnamon
- 2 tbsp. unsweetened applesauce
- 2 tbsp. coconut oil
- 2 tbsp. maple syrup
- 2 tbsp. agave nectar
- 2 tsp. vanilla
Directions: Begin by preheating your oven to 325 degrees Fahrenheit. While oven is preheating, combing your oats, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, cinnamon, and salt in a large mixing bowl. Lightly mix your dry ingredients. In another small bowl, combine your applesauce, coconut oil, maple syrup, agave, and vanilla. Heat and whisk together until smooth. Pour the wet liquids over the dry and mix until the oat mixture is evenly coated. Spread the granola on a large greased baking pan and bake for 20-25 minutes, stirring once halfway through. Once cooled, mix in your cranberries and chocolate chunks. Store in an airtight container for one to two weeks.
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On second thought, I don’t need help.
In fact, I don’t even have a problem. Granola? I can say no — no problem!
Those chocolate chunks and roasted almonds don’t mean anything to me. I could give it up at any time.
Denial is in the air — and I’m not giving it up any time soon.
Question: Are there any foods you are “addicted” to?








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