guest post: being a new mommy with cancer

Today I have a great post from you from reader, Heather. Heather has a gorgeous daughter Lily, and almost immediately after her baby girl was born, Heather literally had the fight for her life. Heather shares below just what it was like having a new addition to the family while fighting her way through cancer. It’s a beautiful story – thank you to Heather for sharing!

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My daughter Lily saved my life.  It sounds over-dramatic, but I really believe it to be true.  No, she didn’t give me CPR or drag me out of a burning building, but she did something just as vital.  She gave me the will to live.  She was only three months old when I was diagnosed with mesothelioma, a type of cancer that kills 95 percent of those who get it.  I knew that the odds were stacked against me, and as a young mother, I was scared to death.  I didn’t know how I was going to defeat this deadly disease, but I knew that I needed to try.  Lily needed her mother, and that was that.

My husband Cameron and I had been married seven years before I finally got pregnant.  We’d wanted to wait to start a family, but once we made the decision, she didn’t waste any time!  My pregnancy was a breeze, and I was so excited as I planned out the nursery and dreamed about all the things we would do with our child.  We were going to be a real family.  I wasn’t sure if I was going to be up for all of the challenges of motherhood, but I was ready to try.  Little did I know what kind of challenges I was going to have to face.

When Lily was born, I couldn’t stop looking at her.  I felt the most intense love for her from the first time I saw her, and I knew that I would do absolutely anything in my power to keep her safe and happy.  Cancer, then, was the last thing I wanted to hear.  Because I loved Lily so much, though, I was not able to wallow in misery for long.  I knew that I had to rally my strength and fight this cancer with everything that I had, even though that meant missing out on some time with Lily during her early months.  It wasn’t easy to be separated from her, but I knew that it was for the best.

I went through a lot after I was diagnosed.  Cameron listened to all of my treatment options when I was too frozen in shock to be much good for anything, and together, we found a plan that would offer me the best hope for recovery.  That meant going to Boston for an extrapleural pneumonectomy surgery that removed a large part of one lung, then staying in a recovery center for two weeks before laying low at my parents’ house in South Dakota for two months.  After all that was over with, I had to go through chemo and radiation back in Minnesota.  It was exhausting, but I kept at it.  I had no choice.

During this time, Lily was well cared for by friends and relatives, and I’m so thankful to them for all that they did to make my cancer ordeal easier for Cameron and I.  I didn’t realize just how many people truly care about us, and I will carry that love with me for the rest of my life.  I also realized through this process that there is no shame in getting help when it’s needed.  Besides, it wasn’t just about me; I had my family to think of.  Cameron was almost as worn out as I was as he stayed by my side throughout my treatments.  We needed all the help we could get.

The biggest help of all, though, was knowing that there was a little girl who was dependent on me and who would need me in the years to come.  I couldn’t let her grow up without a mother if there was anything I could do about it.  I had to fight with everything I had in me so that I could be there for her in all those moments when she needed a mom around.  I thank her for giving me the drive I needed to kick a terrible disease and emerge stronger than ever.  I survived cancer, so please don’t ever give up, no matter how tough circumstances may seem.  There is always hope.

Tagged as: cancer, guest post, new mom