Before reading this post, please remember that I am not a health professional. I am blogging about my own experience and what has worked specifically for me. For concerns about your own health and diet, please contact your physician or dietician for specific advice.
For the first two installments of this series, see “How I Do ‘It’ – Healthy Eating” and “How I Do “It” – Exercise.
Out of everything that makes up a healthy individual, I have to say having a positive self image is absolutely 100% the most difficult of them all for me. In fact, it’s so much easier to get up, speak negatively to myself, treat my body like crap, and end up being cranky all day.
It’s much more difficult to get up with a great outlook on my body and my mind, look in the mirror and tell myself “hey lady… you kind of rock!” each morning.
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It’s no surprise here that I have had difficulties with my self esteem in other posts I have mentioned. I have had difficulties with the scale, difficulties believing in my body with health issues. Recently, I discussed my struggles with finding happiness within myself on a daily basis. It has been so enlightening to hear that other people also struggle with this from time to time, and I can honestly disclose that I am at a place in my life where I am genuinely happy.
This happiness isn’t coming from others (unless we’re going to get into a faith based discussion – then, I can give all my thanks to God) – it’s coming from me.
My self esteem and self worth is skyrocketing because I believe I am worthy of being happy. I give myself permission to love me for who I am.
But how do I actually do it?
- Focus on what you do have instead of what you don’t. This is so so big. There’s always going to be someone out there who has more money, a better paying job, a “seemingly” happier relationship, a better family situation – need I continue? Instead of focusing on what you “don’t” have, focus on what you do! Write down a list of what you do have that you are grateful for anytime you feel the jealousy bug coming to bite you.
- Develop a personal motto. Crazy Clean Eating Girl, say what? A personal motto – something you can live by that encourages healthy behaviors all around. It doesn’t have to be anything long or deep. My background on my computer is actually a great reminder for me on how I should live my day each life – because I’m worth it.
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Stop the negative self talk. Whatever you’re saying that is negative about yourself, stop. Seriously, just stop it. Whether it’s fat talk, telling yourself you “can’t” do something, or just not liking yourself, you have to stop. Liking yourself is the first step to realizing your self worth. If you don’t think you are worth it, it doesn’t matter if everyone else in the world does. Our own opinions matter so much more to us than others.
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- Set some goals. There is no worse feeling than thinking you don’t have anything to strive for. Having concrete goals (short term and long term) will help you see the progress you are making, thus building your self esteem and self worth. Do all goals need to be met? No! Sometimes, plans change or you as a person change. As long as you are every so often monitoring and changing your goals, let life carry you wherever you want to go! Just a tip though? Write the goals down – it’s just like a to do list: you’re much more apt to cross things off if they are written down!
- Don’t play the comparison trap. There have been so many great bloggers lately who have written posts about the comparison trap. Comparing yourself to others is a recipe for disaster. Focus on yourself and what is good for you in your life.
Again, just like healthy eating and exercising, having a positive self image doesn’t happen overnight. I still struggle some days where I don’t feel like my normal self, but usually it has nothing to do with what I “look like” or what I’ve accomplished – it has everything to do with another situation and I happen to take it out on myself instead. If you go one day without speaking down to yourself, reward yourself! That is an accomplishment in itself.
As egocentric as that last image is – it’s true! You should love yourself. Because really, if you don’t love yourself, it’s going to be a lot more difficult to allow others to love you as well.
You and only you have the power to turn your life around – to make yourself believe that you are worth it. What are you waiting for?
Question: Tell me something you love about yourself!
{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }
I love these kind of posts. I have been feeling a little worthless lately and it always helps to remember that it’s all in my head, so thank you!
I love this post! I wrote something similar on my blog a little while ago…not quite about self-worth, but about choosing happiness!
I love my kind nature, hard working attitude, and my sense of humor. I laugh at myself (and my mistakes) all of the time!
I just downloaded that manifesto. What an awesome reminder to enjoy life!! This post really hits close to home, being happy with myself is something I’ve really struggled with. I’m in a much better place now, and these things are great reminders of how to keep it that way.
I love how confident and set I am in my beliefs and opinions. It really helps me make choices every day that align with who I am and who I want to be!
This was amazing to read
I love how hard I work. If I dont get something, or want something reallyreally bad, I will work my lil’ tush off until I can get it!
I love my passion for Uganda, Africa
Amazing post! You SHOULD have a lot of self-confidence, because you are fantastic
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING….everybody in the whole wide world should read this. I LOVED the personal motto…I need to do that!!
I love my sense of humor:)
This is so true Chelsey!! God does His part in us and in our lives, but we must choose to live in a way that’s whole and joyful. Basically, it’s what we make of it!! Tonya’s life story comes to mind right now.
oh!! And…I love that I can love freely and others feel loved by me
Awesome post, yet again! You always have a way of phrasing things so perfectly.
I love that I’m really academically driven and I work really hard to get good grades!
Goodness, girl. I am about to tear up. You wrote such a powerful thing without one sounding “cliche, yadda yadda, etc.”
This stuff makes sense and it resonates.
Such a good writer, you are.
Keep doing it…..your writing goal? A done deal. You got “it.”
I love that you love you, and I love this post and these tips! One thing that bugs me to no end is that it’s almost considered normal to beat ourselves up speak negatively about ourselves, and then it’s like a taboo to say that we love ourselves, because then we’re being stuck up. Grr. I don’t think it’s egocentric at all to love ourselves… I love that I’m genuine, and that I care about others.
So true! How in the world did that become the norm?!
Seriously awesome post! It’s hard to believe that even in my mid 20′s I still based my self worth on my weight, job, how I thought others perceived me, etc. Finally, after having a child I realized I needed to get my act together so I can model positive, self loving behavior for my daughter.
Your students are so lucky to have your words of wisdom and great example!
P.S. where did you get the screen background?
I love this post, so true and spot on! I love that I’m finally sticking with making exercise a priority in my life. A year ago I’d never think I could be where I am today…doing my first half marathon soon and being on the Nuun hood to coast relay team! Truly a once in a lifetime opportunity that I would never have believed in myself enough to do before, but now I have the self confidence and perseverance to do it all!
I adore that “this is your life” quote. I love that I’m generally a positive person and try to always see the bright side of things and try to pass that along to others as well.
I love this post and reading it is good for the heart. #5 is a tough one for me, heck all of them are tough at one time or another. I kind of opened up on this today….. You are an inspiration to be authentic with the world; and authentic with one’s self.
I LOVE that I have my momma’s kind heart!!!!!
Chelsey, I love this post! And you
. I actually just downloaded that quote image that you posted. I found it and was like, wow, I need to look at this a lot! Something I love about myself is that I am very caring of others!
I love my eyes
And this post. Wah. I’m sorry about all of the struggles you and all of us have had. Shit ain’t easy. But girl you are BEAUTIFUL. Lahve you <3
Such an uplifting post
thanks for that!
I like my smile and my shoulders and my tan and my cute nose and my long legs! I’m not conceited I swear, I actually used to struggle with liking myself A LOT!
Love this post!
I love my eyes
This post is really touching! I have been struggling with the same things lately and it is comforting to know I’m not the only one, and that it is something that I can change by changing my perspective.
I love this and I agree with it 100%!
I love my eyes, my legs, my big heart, and my leadership qualities!!!
This post ROCKS Chelsey!! Aaah I’ve missed you and your amazingness!! I agree with what you said 100%!! Even though I DO love myself, everyone has times when they have negative self-talk, but it’s just moving on from that that shows yourself love
Ok, I love MY PERSONALITY!! And on YOU I love your caringness, and your beautiful eyes+hair <3
I love how hard I work to achieve my goals!!!! I love love love this post I’m going to put a link to it on my next post!!!!
Great post! I love what a hard worker I am and how I keep chasing new goals.
I love the compassion that I have for people and my crazy awesome intuition. I wanted to add some insight that I just learned about this week to better explain the “why” of putting ourselves down; it is really simple and obvious, but somehow, I never realized it until it was pointed out to me. We put ourselves down and “abuse” ourselves because we are lifting something or someone else up and putting it or them on a pedestal in comparison. So, it could be that you are putting a body image on a pedestal and saying that it is better than you; you then begin to put yourself down, bringing yourself lower and lower. It could also be that you lift up a person; if you do that something they may say may trigger you to put yourself down in comparison. The problem is that we, or I’ll say I, keep saying that certain things are worth more than I am. Are better than I am. This makes zero sense logically; how could a body image be better than me, a whole wonderful person? Once I learned this, the trick has become being aware of what I am doing so that I can say stop, wait. That is not better than you. This person is not better than you; you are equal. It has really helped me and I hope that it helps someone else! Thanks for this great post Chelsey!
Dear Chelsey,
You always post the most meaningful and thought provoking posts at a time when I need it most. I think we share a brain. Thank you for always being there for me, even if you don’t mean to! Haha!
Most sincerely,
Katy
“If you don’t love yourself, it’s going to be a lot more difficult to allow others to love you as well.” <- SO true!
If there is anything I've learned in my 26 years it's is that you have to learn to love and appreciate yourself before you can really love and appreciate others. I hate that it is almost considered normal to be down on yourself all the time…be it physical attributes, accomplishments, or even your life in general! I've done a lot of growing in the past year and I've learned to love/accept many things about myself. I accept the fact that I am one of the most accident prone people out there, but I love the fact that I know how to laugh at myself about it. I also love the fact that I finally feel like I've gotten to an age where things just seem different to me…I think more before I speak, I voice my opinion when I feel it needs to be heard, and I take more time to listen. Guess I'm on my way to being a wise old sage! Haha!
Hey!
I am new to your blog and just wanted to tell you that I love this post! I know as girls we all have body issues, but I have found that as much as I love cooking and preparing meals for family and friends, I worry about whether I “should” be eating it also.
I look forward to reading more of your posts and hope you have a great weekend!!
I know this is a serious post, but it’s kinda funny that you posted the pic of the kitten who sees himself as a lion because the other day when I was asking the hubby what I should do my next post about, he said to use that exact picture! He had been talking to his friend earlier about self-image and all that sort and that picture came up in conversation!
Great minds think alike?
I love this, my momma and I just a conversation earlier today that is this posts’ twin. For reals! I realized I take myself for granted too much, we are all amazing and unique. I can truly say I love me, the “good” and the “bad”, it’s me.
Can I just say I love this posts series? It’s true! I like myself a lot lately. I might actually think a little too highly of myself. Just kidding, but lately when I look in the mirror I absolutely love what I see. I went to the pool this week and being in a bathing suit is something I used to really dread, but this time when I looked in the mirror I was just thinking “Hey I look pretty darn good!” Call that narcissistic, I call it fabulous!
great post! always nice to be reminded to take care of ourselves and the importance of self love
I try to only talk to myself with the same voice and words that I would talk to someone I love. I would never call someone I love names, and I try to offer myself the same gentleness. One thing I love about myself is that I laugh a lot.
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