homemade blueberry bagels

November 15, 2011

Remember that one time that I made bagels?

November 13, 2011 004

You might not, but I sure do.

Because here’s the thing about bagels — I haven’t had one in over two years. TWO YEARS! Just like the lasagna fiasco, it was due time I crossed over into the dark side and just made my own bagels.

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I know what you’re thinking — why in the heck didn’t you just go out and buy a package of gluten free bagels so you could fulfill your craving? And to that I have to tell you, I’d rather spend $7 on something better — like 3 packages of gum, or 2 coffees from Starbuck’s, or 2 packages of dark chocolate chips to mind-numbingly pop into my mouth over and over and over again after dinner until half the bag is gone and I wonder where in the heck they all went to. Um, duh — my stomach.

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And really, how cool is it to say that you made your own bagels? I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling pretty smug right now. “What’d you do this weekend?” “Oh you know, made some bagels.” SO STINKING COOL! And tomorrow maybe we’ll talk about why I have no friends and why I think making bagels on the weekend beats going out and doing something social like talking to people or getting out of my pajamas. Baby steps people, baby steps.

So anyways, I got this idea in my head to make bagels on Saturday afternoon and I could not get it out of my head. I had to make those bagels if it was the last. thing. I. did. I pulled out the yeast. I grabbed the flour, and I figured I could wing it off of my pretzel roll recipe. It was all going good — the dough looked… doughy. I was all ready to let those suckers rise.

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Then I opened up my freezer and saw blueberries.

I think those should be my famous last words. Maybe I should put them on a shirt.

Because ten minutes later I was folding blueberries into bagel dough. And then an hour later I was trying to form bagels with blueberries popping everywhere and getting under my fingernails. In case you were wondering, no I did not get a manicure with purple nail polish — just blueberries. Anyways, those blueberries were in fact, everywhere. I am surprised a big purple dinosaur didn’t come out to play because I was very. very. purple.

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There was a moment with the blueberry crisis where I thought all was lost. I fought back tears (not really) and told myself to stick with it — Thomas Edison didn’t give up after one failure with electricity. And somehow Edison just rolled over in his grave as I compared making bagels to inventing a light bulb. Oy vey.

Turns out messy dough equals delicious bagels.

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Can a person live off of bagels and bagels alone? I’m willing to try it out for size.

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