Do you know what makes everyone happy?
Soup makes everyone happy.
Yes, even when it looks like this. Ugly shades of brown and green with lentils that the Husband said look like something I won’t ever repeat on a food blog. Because you might never come back here again.
But for real, I need to get some (crabby) people some soup. Because there’s a few people out there who need to chillax, eat some soup, and be happy. I’m praying to God that it cures them of their crankiness for at least a week until I make another pot.
Let’s take for instance — Aubrey. Now, I know she’s only like 2 months old (today actually!!), but girl was a big old ball of crankiness yesterday afternoon when I had time to go visit. Apparently my mom warned me about the crab monster, but I don’t remember this ever happening. Doesn’t Aubrey know that when I come over, she’s supposed to put on a smile, talk pretty to me, and leave all the tired and crabby tears until I leave for her mama? Apparently not. She’ll learn quick. Only because I bribe with food. And clothes. And kisses.
I’m also pointing my finger at you, lady who was almost in my trunk and passed me going 230923091 miles per hour on the highway yesterday. I’m going to advise you to turn your radio to the Christmas station, sing along to “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas”, and put a smile on your face like I was when I was unknowingly going under the speed limit when you passed me. And no, I did not appreciate that little “wave” you gave to me either. Chill out. You can thank me later.
And I suppose if I’m perfectly honest with myself, I should probably go swimming in a big vat of soup. Don’t tell anyone… but I’ve been a little bit crabby lately. Although if you live with me (::ahem:: husband) you probably already know this while I am ranting and raving during dinner. Or maybe you got the jist of the situation when I gave you the evil glare when you tried to sit on the good cushion of the couch last night. Stop looking at me funny, people — the good cushion exists.
It comes and it goes — mainly on how much soup I am eating. Little soup = big crab. Lotsa soup = happy as a clam. I wish I were joking, but all I can do when I eat soup is smile, which usually results in a lot of spillage, but that’s okay because I’m happy to be eating soup.
Lentil Cabbage Soup
Makes: 8 cups
Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: at least 45 minutes
Ready in: 50 minutes
- 1 cup lentils, dry
- 2 carrots, diced
- 2 ribs of celery, diced
- 1/2 head of cabbage, sliced into 1 inch chunks
- 1/2 onion, diced
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- 4 cups vegetable broth
- 2 cups water
- 1 tbsp. olive oil
- 1 tbsp. basil
- 1 tbsp. oregano
- salt and pepper to taste
Directions: In a large pot, heat 1 tbsp. olive oil over medium high heat and add 1/2 diced onion and 4 cloves minced garlic. Stir frequently to avoid burning. After 1-2 minutes have passed, add your 2 ribs diced celery and 2 diced carrots and cook for an addition 3-4 minutes. Once the onion is tender and/or translucent, add your 1 cup dry lentils, 4 cups vegetable broth, and 2 cups water. While the soup is coming to a boil, slice your 1/2 head of green cabbage into bite sized chunks and add to the pot. Add your remaining ingredients — 1 tbsp. basil, 1 tbsp. oregano, and salt and pepper to taste. Bring to a boil, lower heat, and simmer for about 30-40 minutes, or until the cabbage is tender.
Unfortunately, my soup is gone. The whole pot in three days. Be afraid friends, be very afraid.
If you know what’s best for you, someone will box up some soup and send it to me.