For the first four installments of this series see:
- “How I Do ‘It’ – Healthy Eating”
- “How I Do “It” – Exercise
- “How I do ‘It’ – Self Worth”
- “How I Do ‘It’ – Time Management”
I’ve been kind of moody for the last week and a half of my life. Okay, that’s an understatement, especially if you live with me. Charlie has been avoiding me like the plague and has only been cuddling with the Husband because of it.
I’ve felt kind of “eh” ever since I got back from vacation actually. Some can see a correlation between the two, but I refuse to admit that my traveling adventures for this year are over. Last week I felt “off” the entire week. My stomach hurt, I was irritated, I had a headache every day, and I felt like I could sleep forever. While some (of YOU!) thought it was due to a bun in the oven, I can assure you it is due to the allergies my general practitioner claims I “don’t have”. This whole “poor air quality” isn’t just an L.A. thing anymore.
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This week, I have climbed out of the allergy hole and have been just plain irritated. Because of my whole new patience goal, I have not been coming back with smart aleck remarks. I have actually been keeping my mouth shut, thinking about what I want to say, and then saying it (sometimes it’s still not so nice, but at least I’m thinking it through this time). This has led me to be really frustrated.
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Frustration is one of those emotions that I absolutely 100% without a doubt dislike. The feeling of frustration can make me yell, scream, and cry all in about 5 second. Frustration is the hardest emotion for me to deal with on a regular basis. Unfortunately this is a trait I have learned over the course of my life from an example that was shown to me as a child and is not something I am proud of.
Last night, I went to be frustrated. I woke up frustrated. I had a few moments where I thought, “$@#:&*, I should have stayed in bed today.” After spending wasting about five hours of my day being frustrated, I decided enough was enough. How did I deal with my frustration?
- Got my sweat on. When I start to feel irritated or mad, my first reaction is to go use up all my frustration by working it off. I first discovered this correlation in high school when I had a fight with a boyfriend right before swim practice. That day was the best swim practice of my life. I used up all my anger in the water. Today, all it took me was a 20 minute BodyRock workout (um, hello HARD!) and a 3 mile run for me to start feeling positive again. Sweating = Endorphins = Feeling good.
- Face the issue at hand. I know exactly what is irritating me right now, and I know exactly how to deal with it. Why I haven’t done it already is beyond me, but consider it done now. By facing the situation that is making me have negative feelings, I feel 100% better after.
- Spend time with a hobby you love. Sometimes, I just need to get my mind off of my frustrating issue and forget about it. To do this, I usually spend time in the kitchen. I cook, I wash dishes, I sample recipes. While spending time in the kitchen may not be soothing to all, I sure feel good doing it.
- Sing it out. While I might not be the world’s best (okay, even a decent) singer, listening to music always makes me forget what I was angry about. When I got home from the gym this morning, I put on a favorite Pandora station and belted it out. Thankfully I was the only one home at the time.
- Surround yourself with others. A one woman pity party is not fun at all. When I get into one of my moods, I would much rather sit at home, be by myself, and not talk to anyone for the entire day. Sounds healthy, right? I know that being around people always makes me feel better though. Even if I don’t talk about what’s bothering me with them, I can usually take their happy/positive feelings and apply them to myself. Today was nothing a volunteer session at the Vegan Cafe couldn’t fix!
- Understand that having negative emotions is a part of life. I’m sorry, but if you are happy 100% of the time, I applaud you, but I know I also can’t be like that. I have good days and bad days, just like the majority of the people out there. While I wish I could live in a land of sunshine and rainbows all of the time, it’s unrealistic for me to think like that!
After all of that, I feel a lot better and my frustration is pretty much put to rest. Dealing with negativity is something we all go through from time to time, but it is how you deal with your emotions that counts.
Question: How do you deal with unwanted/negative emotions? What is a strategy that has helped you?
Disclaimer: Please remember
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When I’m down, I bake. A lot. I also curl up with a good cup of coffee and a book I’ve read a million times.
Awww I hear ya Chelsey. When I am frustrated I crank up the tunes and belt out the lyrics while cleaning the house like a mad woman. I find music very soothing. Then I get some snuggles with my kiddos
Ps what is Body Rock?
Just replied to your tweet, but BodyRock is an website/blog that posts intense workouts – they are short, only about 15 minutes – but they are insane!
Oh I definitely have days where I feel crappy and negative. And I hate it! Usually a good workout really helps clear my head and lift my mood. If not, then talking the problem out with my bf (unless he is the problem haha) works too! Or escaping into a good book is always a temporary solution
When I am in a funky mood I love to take a long bike, swim or walk along. Reading and hot tubs are great too haha
I’d say for the past 2 years I’ve been in a bad mood. My living arrangements were anything but ideal and when your less than ideal roommate is your sister and your parents refuse to believe that living together is detrimental to your mental health, it just gets a lot worse. The past month of finally moving out was the. worst. One would think it would be filled with optimism about it finally being over, but it was just terribly frustrating separating the furniture and watching as my parents gave into to her self destructive habits time and time again.
My boyfriend finally pointed out to me that he was beginning to not like the person I was becoming around her. He actually said that he thought part of the reason for my change in personality was that I didn’t have enough out of the apartment to throw myself into. I do homework, study, read, write, etc in my apartment. So my escape was definitely working out, walks, when it’s nice out just going to sit somewhere else.
That is such a hard situation to deal with! I can say that living with siblings is not an ideal situation for most! It’s hard because you are soo comfortable with one another and if they are a negative influence on you, well, that is no good! I hope everything turned out okay.
Running always helps me blow of some steam
I have always been a person that kind of speaks my mind before thinking it through! I am trying to find better ways to deal with my frustrations. I like to cook, go for a walk, just be alone, take a nap, or clean. lol. I don’t know why but sometimes it just feels good to yell about it!
You and me BOTH! Then I end up feeling horrible about what I said!
I take the old-fashioned route and write in a journal. I’ve been doing it since I was seven- I joke that it’s because my family couldn’t afford therapy
It’s a quick, cheap outlet that usually helps me gain perspective, without embarrassing myself with public displays of over-exaggeration. I’d say 90% of the time when I look back I roll my eyes and am happy that things worked themselves out. Good luck with your strife!
face the issue is a great tip, not always the easiest to do but for me it is usually worth it. typically I go and bake something to help with my frustration or listen to some music.
xo
~Lori
Facing the issue is always the harrdesst thing for me!
Bible…if I can get outside my head for enough time to remember!
The worst thing about being frustrated is that we are ALL up in our minds.
Internal dialogue and rumination holy wow! Then we can’t concentrate and get all hasty and then more hit shappens. Like we pull out the silverware drawer and it all topples on the ground or we spill stuff. More frustration.
That is why your suggestions of movement, exercise, singing and surrounding yourself with others is so good because the #1 best thing to do is to get out of your head!!!
Did I forget to mention the Pandora station I listen to is Christian music? Totally gets my God face on.
It always helps me to stay grounded. And I agree, frustration is totally all up in your mind! It can just continue to spiral!
Argh. There’s nothing worse than being in an extended funk. Those are some great tips for getting over it though. I especially like the “understand that negative emotions are a part of life” one. I used to beat myself up if I wasn’t happy and chirpy 100% of the time, but I’ve come to realize that it’s just not realistic. There are some days where no matter what I do, I can’t feel better and I’ve just gotta accept it and ride out the wave of negativity. Other times, baking, writing, reading, talking, or napping help. And then, of course, there’s always chocolate
Oh yes, more chocolate than normal has been consumed as of late!
After I got back from Europe I was in a definite funk. I was moody, grumpy, and everything seemed to just bother me! I eventually snapped back into the funk, but for awhile I had the travel bug!
love all of these tips!
sometimes a good cry and a hug work wonders. Just need to release some feelings ya know? Great post, so real and something we often leave in the shadows.
A good cry definitely always helps me! I always am a crier!
My favorite strategies are 3 things: 1) journal! in there, i can write my *&^% you letters to people (if its someone causing my frustration) or just to vent about my sitch. 2) music…i just turn on my music channel on the tv..and just sing and just kinda dance around. Yes, I feel silly, but it works 3) cheesy reality tv! seriously…it works! i love looking at someone else’s drama (because i have plenty in my own life)….but watching e! or bravo for a bit makes me feel better…its a calorie free guilty pleasure after all!
I can 100% relate to this right now! Lately I’ve been feeling so frustrated with, well, everything! I actually started writing in a journal again, which has really helped get things off my chest. And sometimes, if my journal isn’t nearby, I’ll just talk to myself out loud. Yes, I’m that crazy person who rants to herself. But I swear it helps!
I talk to myself regardless of the situation. That is the truth.
I think frustration is so difficult to deal with because it’s an emotion that you can’t necessarily do anything about. It’s almost a feeling that something is beyond your control. Like when traffic sucks or when a million little things pile up to create one big jumble of frustration. I love all of your tips for dealing with it! One thing that helps me is taking a step back, a deep breath, and realizing that the frustration will pass and it’s not worth getting angry over. It may not help the situation, but it keeps me from going from frustrated to outright angry!
So true! Being a control freak is definitely a reason as to why it bothers me so much!
If I get in a slump, I give myself one night to really wallow in it. I lay in bed, eat comfort food, and pout. However, I know that when I wake up the next day, I have to let it go and start the new day with a positive outlook. Generally if I face the fact that I am in a rut and then make the conscious decision to let it go, I wake up in a much better mood!
I sing it out! Especially if I’m in my car. Crank up the stereo and pretend I’m Beyonce. I get the dramatic hand in the air and belt. it. out.
There’s only 2 things that can help me deal with unwanted/negative emotions.
Working Out & Cooking\Baking
They always work!!
I definitely feel that #1 and #6 are how I deal. Take today for instance, I was upset with my fiance (over something stupid!) and had a volleyball game tonight. After the volleyball game, I had let out all of my aggression on the courts and we’re fine now!
Working it out is my number one stress reliever…I always feel better after getting my sweat on!
Great Tips! I love that you acknowledge that negative/uncomfortable emotions are simply a part of life sometimes and they need to felt not just pushed aside or ignored.
Hope you feel better soon!
feeling MUCH better!
YEY! So glad to hear it!
Love this post! When I’m feeling down I always want to be by myself, and usually it really does help. If i’m sad, I’m really not any fun to be around. I let myself have that time to just chill but I don’t let it last too long. No pity parties here, sometimes I just need to push through it and deal with the emotions.
Sometimes I really need to be by myself too. Usually it’s after I’ve been alone for a while that I need other human contact!
Love you. Long story short I have a lot of unwanted emotions, mainly in my manfriend relationships. I am so rediculously insecure in relationships, which doesn’t really make sense because I trust him, but I can’t help but question every. single. little. thing. that he does or says. Like, does he ACTUALLY want to be with me or does he just take me out for five-hour dates and spend a shit ton of money on me because he feels like he has to? When I write it out like that I feel so stupid. Like, what makes me, or any girl for that matter, think that a guy calls/texts us and updates us often on their lives if they didn’t think about us / want to talk to us / want to be with us? I was not planning on this comment becoming a huge heart spill-out but I guess it has. Long story short, my unwanted emotions are mostly related to relationships. I feel inadequate and too much at the same time, and most of all I feel unwanted. Which is just stupid. So, I turn around and take a look at the actions/words of another and put myself in their place and realize if I were saying or doing the same thing, it would mean nothing like the crazy thoughts that come into my head. I hope this makes sense to you love bug <3 Mwah I love you!
Ugh, relationships are so so hard. I think that, with time you’ll mature to “read” or deal with relationships better. The usband and I started dating when I was a senior in high school and then when I went away to college, I was so insecure in our relationship for the first year. We took a break for a while when I was a junior in college, and when we started dating again, I looked at the relationship in a totally new/different way. It’ll come in time!
I find that a sweaty run coupled with some loud music helps me run out my emotions! I also like vegging out and having a movie night. It is nice to escape your own world sometimes when you are frustrated!
I love all of you tips and most work for me as well! My post for tomorrow is actually about dealing with negative situations, too. Well one negative situation in particular! Great minds think alike?
Great post doll!! I love the realness that comes through your posts
I can totally agree and it slapped me across the face the other week when I read a book about being 100% responsible for your life. SAY WHA???!! Sh%T, I’m responsible for my moods, my happiness, my body, my brand, my biz? When I realized that I can instantly change my moods around. There is a miracle in everything my friend, remember that! One simple thought or gratitude list can get you out of being frustrated!
xxoo
I can relate to you 100%! I hate being fustrated, but I am teaching myself how to handle those feelings better. Yesterday in a fit of fustration I drove to the library and got children’s books about different countries. Fustration defeated. Sweating it out with a workout is another great one. Oh and singing! Music is so calming be it something upbeat and fast or slow and melodic.
Such a great post!!
Thank you for this lovely post, Chelsy, I’ve been feeling frustrated and emotional lately and this helps heaps!
xyx
A good work out or a hug from my fiance’ definitely help improve my mood!
Great post Chelsey! I just wrote about my depression the other day (I still have bad days) and these tips are great for when it happens again!
My boss always says that if I “found God”, I wouldn’t be depressed anymore. I tell ya. It makes me sound like a heathen.
I respectfully disagree with your boss. I am a Christian, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be sad, depressed, or have bad days!
Hi Chelsey!
I just found your blog because I am working my way to “eating clean”. This post really made me add you to my favorites because I can totally relate. You are honest and it struck me when you said that I AM in control of my frustrations. I’m working full-time, have a family, while trying to go to school at the same time and right now LIFE is frustrating. Thank you for stating the obvious in this post. I plan to be a constant reader!
Hi Sarah! So glad you’re joining us over here on the dark side.
You have a LOT going on right now! You’re amazing!
Great post!!! I love your tips because I get frustrated too often for my own good. Thanks!!
Exercise has most definitely helped me when I’m feeling down also. Once I purposely tested that theory out. I had an attitude for no reason, it was the “Wrath of Tiffany” up in here! Instead of taking it out on hubby, I got on the elliptical, and I was so amazed at how my mood was instantly lighter.
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