mango avocado relish

February 2, 2012

For some reason, despite my almost 25 years of age, my beloved aunt does not trust me when using knives in the kitchen.

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Every year, I am her Thanksgiving and Christmas helper, and I hear gasps of horror every time I handle a sharp object in her presence. She claims it is because I am left handed and when I hold a knife it looks weird — but she even freaks out a little bit when I peel vegetables. I am certain she is waiting for me to slice my thumb off or stab myself with a sharp object when she’s looking away.

It’s not that I’ve ever had a history with being a clumsy fool either***. I never drop anything, especially not on my feet, and I don’t jump around and squeal in pain when it feels like my toenail is about to fall off.

***that is a lie.

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And I’m sure she is not thinking at all about that one time when I was unknowingly standing with my back about six inches away from a column in her home. Please now imagine me turning around to run away from my older sister and cousin and smacking my face right into it causing me to see stars for days.

Yeah, it’s pretty scary to think about me walking down the street, let alone in the kitchen now, right?

I kind of get where she’s coming from.

I was even scared for my own life when I was trying to magically peel and cut this mango I received in my produce box last week. At that very moment, I wished I had a mango slicer. I have three vegetable peelers. Four spatulas. 3 large serving spoons. 3 sets of measuring cups. 1 egg white separator. 2 whisks. 1 potato scrubber. 1 lettuce knife (really!??!). 1 apple corer. At least 12093209 cookie sheets.

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But no mango slicer? Who in the heck am I?

Regardless, I worked my butt off trying to get this mango peeled. If you’re smarter than me (please be smarter than me), you’ll take a peek at these directions at how to slice a mango before you make this awesome mango avocado relish.

I don’t know why I’m calling it relish either — it’s a freaking salsa. Relish just sounds cooler and it makes me feel like I can put it on more foods — or a spoon to shovel spoonful after spoonful right into my mouth until it’s gone. No, that didn’t happen 3 hours after I made it either.

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Note to self — if your lips are severely chapped and you eat an entire citrus fruit that is doused with more citrus, beware. Your lips might feel like they are burning off of your face.

So worth it.

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